New Moon

Title: New Moon

Author: Stephanie Meyer
Published: 2006
Read: March 2009
Number of pages: 563
Fiction
Where I obtained the book: E-bay

How I discovered it: read the first one
My grade: F

After paying full price for the first book in the Twilight series (aptly titled Twilight), I decided I would not pay that much for the second book which was sure to be just as awful, so I got it off E-bay and I still probably spent too much for it! 

Here's a quick recap from the first book: Bella is in love with Edward, the vampire.

The good news about New Moon? Edward is absent for about 400 pages, so we don't have to deal with Bella talking about his "crooked smile" or his "rock-hard abs" or "perfect face" on EVERY. SINGLE. PAGE. 

The bad news? Edward is absent for about 400 pages and all Bella does is mope around about missing him and how she can't live without him. Good lord, girl, stop being such a pansy.

Here are some eye-roll inducing lines from the book:

(Bella and Edward are watching Romeo and Juliet: The movie captured my interest, thanks in large part to Edward whispering Romeo's lines in my ear - his irresistible, velvet voice made the actor's voice sound weak and coarse by comparison. 

Seriously, I feel like I'm reading fanfic!

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire, there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the metero had fallen over  the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." 

::::gag::: and :::zzzz:::: And why is Edward so enamoured with an immature 17 (18?) year old girl? He's been around for at least over a hundred years, you'd think he go for an older, more sophisticated woman who's seen the world. Just saying. 

Okay, question...am I suppose to be rooting for Bella and Edward? Because when I read their scenes together, I feel nothing. I honestly don't care about them as a couple. Even though they make kissey faces and "gaze into each other's eyes", I don't feel like they are a couple. I don't get that arm, fuzzy feeling inside of me when I read about other couples that are well-written, well-developed and make sense. With Bella and Edward, I just feel...nothing. I think she has more chemisty with Jacob. At least with Jacob she got to know him and they spet a good time being friends beofre there was any attraction on her part. With Edward, it was just "OMG! He's hot - he's my soulmate!" I can't stand Edward. He's too perfect. He's so boring.

The book ends with Edward promising Bella that he'll make her a vampire after she graduates from high school. There's these bad vampires after her and the only way to save her it to make her a vampire or they'll kill her. Why the Cullen family can't protect her as a human is beyond me. There's this one asinine scene where she is taking a vote of the Cullen family on whether they want to join their familr or not and all but two of them are like, "Yeah! Become one of us! We want you to be in our family." Gee, how thoughtful of them to think of how her parents might react to their daughter becoming a vampire. And not to mention that becoming a vampire is a painful experience, I really don't think they have her best interest at heart. What a moron.