Title: Twilight
Author: Stephenie Meyer
Published: 2005
Read: February 2009
Number of pages: 498
Fiction
Where I obtained the book: Barnes and Noble
How I discovered it: are you kidding me?!
My grade: D-
Published: 2005
Read: February 2009
Number of pages: 498
Fiction
Where I obtained the book: Barnes and Noble
How I discovered it: are you kidding me?!
My grade: D-
Anyone who knows me knows that I cannot stand the crappy "Twilight" books, because, let's face it, they are indeed crap. I mean, if this can get published, then anything can. I only bought the first book out of peer pressure. After all, everyone was reading and raving about them. (It was only after I had read the first book that I found all the people who hated them as much as I did). Now I admit I have read three out of the four books in the series (I'll post reviews of those later), but I only read them because it was much too fun snarking about them in my LiveJournal and everyone thought my "reviews" were really funny.
The main character is a teenage girl named Bella wh0 has been sent to live with her dad (who she calls by his first name which is just really weird) in a small town in Washington. Bella is clumsy! She trips a lot! She nearly gets hit by a car! She can't do anything on her own; she's a moron of epic proportions. For some reason, half of the male population at her school keep asking her out. This doesn't make any sense as she never got that much attention at her old school and suddenly all these guys want her? Please. Mary Sue alert! Besides tripping, Bella also cooks a lot and swoons over after some guy. She's even willing to risk her life for him and turn into a vampire. Great role model for young girls there, Meyer.
Edward is a vampire. He doesn't kill people. He doesn't have fangs. He can go out in the sunlight (and he SPARKLES!) He can see his reflection (according to the movie). He doesn't sleep in coffins or turn into a bat and doesn't have an aversion to crosses. What a lame excuse for a vampire. Edward is really, really, really, really, really, really good-looking. He has topaz eyes and bronze-colored hair, a perfect face and a Greek God body. On every page, we are once again reminded about Edward's perfection and beauty. A good author would tell us this once and trust the readers to remember this detail about her character. I don't understand the appeal of Edward. The more perfect he becomes, the less appealing he is to me. He also treats Bella like a child. She even compares herself to one when he picks her up "like a little kid" or he's dancing with her like she's a five year old. It's sick and creepy and disgusting. Not only is he always picking her up (the girl is 17, for God's sake), but he's also always chiding her and condescending to her.
Why do Bella and Edward fall in love? Good question. I'm still scracting my head over this. Bella thinks Edward is HOT!!!111!! Edward thinks Bella smells good. It MUST be tru luv. A good writer would let two characters get to know each other and not just have them become a couple within the first 100 pages
Meyer is a horrible writer. How many times does she need to desribe Edward as "beautiful" and tell us how he smiled "his crooked smile"? Her characters are dull and uninspiring. She doesn't introduce the antagonist until page 400 and he somehow just pops out of nowhere like she just remembered she needed a climax for her book. The dialogue is absoluetly atrochious.
I hate this book with a passion; I really do.
Edward is a vampire. He doesn't kill people. He doesn't have fangs. He can go out in the sunlight (and he SPARKLES!) He can see his reflection (according to the movie). He doesn't sleep in coffins or turn into a bat and doesn't have an aversion to crosses. What a lame excuse for a vampire. Edward is really, really, really, really, really, really good-looking. He has topaz eyes and bronze-colored hair, a perfect face and a Greek God body. On every page, we are once again reminded about Edward's perfection and beauty. A good author would tell us this once and trust the readers to remember this detail about her character. I don't understand the appeal of Edward. The more perfect he becomes, the less appealing he is to me. He also treats Bella like a child. She even compares herself to one when he picks her up "like a little kid" or he's dancing with her like she's a five year old. It's sick and creepy and disgusting. Not only is he always picking her up (the girl is 17, for God's sake), but he's also always chiding her and condescending to her.
Why do Bella and Edward fall in love? Good question. I'm still scracting my head over this. Bella thinks Edward is HOT!!!111!! Edward thinks Bella smells good. It MUST be tru luv. A good writer would let two characters get to know each other and not just have them become a couple within the first 100 pages
Meyer is a horrible writer. How many times does she need to desribe Edward as "beautiful" and tell us how he smiled "his crooked smile"? Her characters are dull and uninspiring. She doesn't introduce the antagonist until page 400 and he somehow just pops out of nowhere like she just remembered she needed a climax for her book. The dialogue is absoluetly atrochious.
I hate this book with a passion; I really do.
Things I don't understand:
Why is Bella such a moron?
Why does she call her parents by their first names? It's just weird how she calls her dad "Charlie" to her mom and Edward and everyone else. I don't go around asking my mom, "Oh, when is Patrick coming home from work?"
Why are Edward, Mike, Tyler, that other dude, and Jacob all infactuared with Bella? Jacob I can understand because he's younger than her and she did flirt with him to get out information, but she desribes herself as cute, but not stunningly gorgeous and even says "physically, I'd never fit in anywhere." Did Meyer leave out the chapter where Bella gets breat implants? Why are these boys suddenly falling over themselves for her when she never got that much attention at her old school? I never got that and it made Bella quite Mary Sue-ish.
Is it suppose to be romantic that Edward watched Bella while she was sleeping? Because -eeee! CREEEEEPY! NOT romantic at ALL!
If Meyer were smart, she would have waited to get Bella and Edward together until the second or third book, and give them time to get to know each other in the first book. Their relationship just happens too quickly to be belivable. I know Bella is dazzled by his sparkling skin and "perfect face" and "Greek God body", but other than that, she hardly knows the boy. And why does Edward fall for her? Because she smells good? Because he knows she's wrong for him? I just don't get it. And he treats her like a child, always carrying her and chiding her. Edward is an asshole. I would dump his ass in a New York minute, I don't care how hot he is. Bella is too stupid (and IN LUV!!1!) to do that. Now I know the relationship between E/B is the main focus of the books, but I'd like to point out another fantasy series geared toward young adults that does the romantic relationship between the characters much better. If you've ever read Libba Bray's A Sweet and Terrible Beauty trilogy, you'll know that the romance between Gemma and Kartik isn't the main plot, but at least she lets the characters get to know each other and there's an attraction between them and we know they'll evenutally get together (even with another suitor in the mix), but they don't become a couple until the last book. And their interractions are more believable...and sweeter...than Edward's and Bella's.
Why is Bella such a moron?
Why does she call her parents by their first names? It's just weird how she calls her dad "Charlie" to her mom and Edward and everyone else. I don't go around asking my mom, "Oh, when is Patrick coming home from work?"
Why are Edward, Mike, Tyler, that other dude, and Jacob all infactuared with Bella? Jacob I can understand because he's younger than her and she did flirt with him to get out information, but she desribes herself as cute, but not stunningly gorgeous and even says "physically, I'd never fit in anywhere." Did Meyer leave out the chapter where Bella gets breat implants? Why are these boys suddenly falling over themselves for her when she never got that much attention at her old school? I never got that and it made Bella quite Mary Sue-ish.
Is it suppose to be romantic that Edward watched Bella while she was sleeping? Because -eeee! CREEEEEPY! NOT romantic at ALL!
If Meyer were smart, she would have waited to get Bella and Edward together until the second or third book, and give them time to get to know each other in the first book. Their relationship just happens too quickly to be belivable. I know Bella is dazzled by his sparkling skin and "perfect face" and "Greek God body", but other than that, she hardly knows the boy. And why does Edward fall for her? Because she smells good? Because he knows she's wrong for him? I just don't get it. And he treats her like a child, always carrying her and chiding her. Edward is an asshole. I would dump his ass in a New York minute, I don't care how hot he is. Bella is too stupid (and IN LUV!!1!) to do that. Now I know the relationship between E/B is the main focus of the books, but I'd like to point out another fantasy series geared toward young adults that does the romantic relationship between the characters much better. If you've ever read Libba Bray's A Sweet and Terrible Beauty trilogy, you'll know that the romance between Gemma and Kartik isn't the main plot, but at least she lets the characters get to know each other and there's an attraction between them and we know they'll evenutally get together (even with another suitor in the mix), but they don't become a couple until the last book. And their interractions are more believable...and sweeter...than Edward's and Bella's.
This book sucks...haha.
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