Tea & Crumpets and Champagne & Foie Gras

Our last BSC SS book is Baby-Sitters' European Vacation, which reminds me of the Griswold family with Chevy Chase (although that was my least favorite in those series of movies). 

So as you can probably guess from the title, the BSC travels to Europe. And that's true, except not all the members go. This is one of those Super Specials where half of the BSC goes to a certain destination and the other half stays in Stoneybrook. This kind of started in Sea City, Here We Come! where Mallory, Jessi, and Stacey are in Sea City the first week and the rest of the girls remain in Stoneybrook. Of course, by the second week, everybody is in Sea City. Then you have Here Comes the Bridesmaids where Kristy, Mary Anne, and Claudia go to California and Stacey, Mal, and Jessi remains in Stoneybrook. Most everyone goes to Hawaii in Aloha, Baby-Sitters except for Kristy and (poor) Mallory and I think it was smart for them to be split up in BSC in the USA! so they cover more of the country. I do understand why they started splitting up the girls in these Super Specials; I'm sure it can be difficult to think of story lines for each of them if they're all in the same place. However, I'm a little bummed that they're split up in this book. For one thing, it would have been fun for all of them (well, with the exception of one baby-sitter; I'll get to that later) to go to London and Paris. For another thing, I thought the storyline in Stoneybrook was just boring and I didn't care.

Kristy, Stacey, Abby, Jessi, and Mallory are the ones who go overseas. I am SHOCKED, just SHOCKED that Mal actually got to go on this trip! Good for her! Either it's more expensive to go to Hawaii than to Europe (well, it certainly doesn't take as long to fly from NY to London as it does to fly from NY to Hawaii!)  or her parents were able to afford this trip for her (or maybe they feel guilty she didn't get to go to Hawaii). 

Claudia, Mary Anne, and Dawn are the ones who stay in Stoneybrook. This book takes place right before Mary Anne and the Playground Fight. I think it makes sense for Dawn to stay home. She's already cut her summer (the same summer right before she starts eight grade!) in Stoneybrook short twice by going to Hawaii and leaving two weeks early to go on the road trip across the country. Also, she doesn't even go to SMS so she shouldn't even have the opportunity to go on this trip. Sorry, Dawn. 

I wish Claudia and Mary Anne had gone on the school trip. You think Claudia would have loved the fashion and art museums (not to mention I bet she would love visiting Claud Monet's home and gardens in Giverny). And doesn't Mary Anne live and breath for visiting big cities with lots of attractions? She would have LOVED London and Paris. She even tells Abby (in Mary Anne and the Playground Fight) that she's always wanted to go to London and Paris. And she could have worn that European city skirt she wore to the dance in Logan Likes Mary Anne! You remember, the one that had the words "Paris", "Rome", and "London" on it along with sketches of the Eiffel Tower and Tower Bridge? That would have been so much fun to see that make a comeback! And of course Victoria, the little Princess who comes to stay in Stoneybrook (between her and Derek Masters, a small town like Stoneybrook sure sees its share of famous people, young famous people anyway!) is excited for Mary Anne to visit her in London, but Mary Anne has to let her down (in Playground Fight) and tell her she's not coming. Mary Anne doesn't want to go because she wants to spend time with Dawn which is such bullshit since it seems like Dawn comes to visit Stoneybrook every other month and Dawn will be there for the whole summer and the trip is less than two weeks (I think they say it's ten days?) I don't know if they (AMM and the ghost writers) knew this was going to be the last Super Special, but they had to have an idea and it would have been nice if all the members had gone on the trip together. They're going to Europe, for God's Sake, I'm sure they could have come up with storylines for Claud and Mary Anne! 

Oh, well.

Let's take a look at the book's cover, shall we? 

So this probably isn't the best image of this cover, but if you look at the physical copy of the book, you can truly see how awful it is. Everybody just looks so weird. The British dude is the only one who looks "normal". But, my God, Stacey looks the worst of all! She looks like a frail women in her fifties! The way her head is placed looks super weird, it doesn't look centered with her neck and it kinda gives me the creeps. She's also wearing this fringe dress which is the same outfit she wears on the plane from New York to London. I know this because there's an illustration of her at the airport and she's wearing that dress. That just seems like such a weird choice to wear on a plane ride that's 7 hours!  Mallory looks extremely tan and as a redhead myself, I know that redheads do not tan! Also, her outfit is extremely hideous! Brown overalls with a red and white striped t-shirt with green trim? WTF is that? If the overalls were black or blue and the green trim was black, I think that would have been much better. Also, I would have made the overalls shorts instead of long pants. Abby wearing socks with her sandals is baffling...who wears sock with their sandals?? I love her throwback camera...I bet the young kids today would have no idea what's around her neck! I actually used to have a shirt like the one Kristy is wearing, but the Union Jack on my shirt is horizontal. (My phone case is also the Union Jack and I get compliments about it all the time when I use the drive-thru at Starbucks). 

And now let's talk about each of their story lines.

I kind of feel for Stacey because her mom is one of two chaperones on their European trip (the other is Mr. Doughertry, or as the kids call him, Mr. D, who teaches creative writing at SMS (so he must be Mal's favorite teacher)). I have no idea how many students from SMS are on this trip, but two chaperones doesn't seem like that much. When I went to France with my high school French Club, there was probably about twenty of us and we had two chaperones: the French teacher and the English/Literature/Language Arts/whatever you want to call it teacher. I can't imagine my own mother being a chaperone on a trip to Europe with my fellow peers. That's gotta be all kinds of embarrassing. 

Robert is on this trip too and Stacey explains to us about their relationship which I really do not care about. As a Stacey/Sam shipper, I never really cared that much about Robert (or Ethan). Right now they are friends, so good for them. One of the girls who was part of the "Bad Girls" crew Stacey used to hang out with, Jacqui, is "slobbering all over Robert", which doesn't make Stacey very happy. Or Robert since he's not interested in her at all. 

When Stacey gets to her hotel in London and opens her suitcase she realizes it isn't hers. I feel like this thing only happens in TV shows or other fictionalized media. Don't most people have their name (and probably phone number) on their luggage tags? I know I do. A lot of luggage look alike. Basically what she finds inside belong to an old man. Not only does she find his tweed pants and argyle socks, but also finds a heavy metal canister containing a note that says, "Handle with Care Human Ashes *** Remains of Mr. D. Petropoulos." For some reason, she thinks the guy with the luggage murdered the guy whose ashes he's carrying around. What kind of true crime stories is she watching? Obviously, this is a family member/close friend of the guy with the luggage and he's going to spread his ashes somewhere. 

Since Stacey doesn't know when she's going to get her suitcase, she buys two outfits at Harrods (after picking out 20!) The way Stacey describes Harrods, it sounds pretty impressive. And humongous! 

How was Harrods? Well, let's put it this way. it was like stepping into Bloomingdale's, Macy's, Zabar's, and half of Fifth Avenue all rolled into one.

So is she saying that Harrods is bigger than all of those combined or that Harrods has everything all of those shops have to offer, combined? But I thought you could (pretty much) get the same thing at Bloomingdales at Macy's and so forth. Of course, I've only been to New York once and only went to Bloomingdales and Macy's. We did walk Fifth Avenue and I know they have pretty high end stuff, so maybe you can get affordable stuff and high end stuff at Harrods? Anyway, not surprisingly, this is Stacey's highlight of the trip. Typical Stacey. Her mom buys her two outfits - "one for the theater that night and one for daytime sightseeing." Unfortunately, we do not get a description of either outfit and I feel very cheated. I'm just going to pretend that one of the outfits she got was a Union Jack dress, you know like what Ginger Spice would wear. Stacey isn't the only one who does shopping that day. Kristy also buys a pack of white crew socks. That's just odd. Unless she needed them? Otherwise, why not wait and buy them when you get home? 

A message has arrived and they now know where the guy who has Stacey's luggage is staying in Paris and he's an elderly man from Colorado named Louis Anderson. He's made arrangements to have Stacey's luggage delivered tomorrow, but he's requested if Mrs. McGill and Stacey can deliver his luggage themselves since they contain the ashes of his friend, Dennis, who was in WWII with him. Kristy thinks this means that Dennis died back when they stormed the beach at Normandy together and that Louis has been carrying his ashes for all these years! But Mrs. McGill clarifies that Dennis died this past year. He wanted Louis to scatter his ashes at Normandy. I bet Louis got quite the surprise when he opened his suitcase only to discover trendy clothes for a thirteen-year-old girl! 

Since Louis (or Maureen) don't feel comfortable about trusting the ashes with the airline, Mr. Anderson has asked if they can deliver them when they get to Paris (good thing they were going to Paris; otherwise he'd have to get them through the airline) and Stacey isn't thrilled about this. I'm really not sure what the big deal is. They're going to be in the same city as this guy; is she worried it's going to cut into her Paris vacation time or something? We get this passage from her:

Why would a grown man ask someone to scatter his remains on a beach halfway around the world? Wouldn't he want his ashes to be near his friends and family? And why would another man actually travel all the way to Europe to do this for him? I mean, okay, they were in the war together. That was important, but it was over 50 years ago. It seemed weird. Morbid.

I love how she answers her own question there. Also, why is she being so judgmental? She doesn't know this man or his deceased friend. But her tune quickly changes when they go to the Cabinet War Rooms the next day, "where Winston Churchill and his cabinet hid underground during WWII, planning the strategy that won the war." I wouldn't describe myself as a history buff (don't get me wrong, I do find plenty of history interesting and fascinating) and this sounds really cool to me. This also sounds like something that would be great for a class of kids to visit in London (unlike, say, the beach, when they were in Hawaii).

Stacey is acting like a brat when her mom tells her where they're going that day:

Ugh. My beauty sleep was being ruined for the sake of a war exhibit? 

OMG, STFU, Stacey. She sounds like such a spoiled brat.  However, when she visits the exhibit and the tour guide tells them how the strategy called Operation Overlord was planned there, the one where "thousands of American, British, and Canadian troops launched an all-out surprise attack...", her tune changes when she realizes that Louis and Dennis were part of that and she thinks about the ashes again and that "this time [she] didn't think they were weird at all." 

They take the Chunnel from London to Paris and Stacey calls it "the new improved, underground way to cross the English Channel." She isn't wrong about the "new" part; it was built in 1994, so when the BSC rode on it, it was fairly new! 

Stacey and Maureen return the ashes to Mr. Anderson and he thanks them and Stacey asks him if they can come along to Normandy when he scatters the ashes. A bit presumptuous of her, but he tells her he wouldn't mind the company. Maureen, along with everyone who is reading this, is SHOCKED: "You want give up a day of Paris in order to go to Normandy?" Stacey claims she'll have plenty of time in Paris and that this is important. So they drive to Normandy and Stacey and Maureen give the old man privacy as he says good bye to his war buddy and it's a nice moment. 

I don't know if I mentioned this already, but the SMS students are touring London and Paris along with another class from Toronto, who have their own chaperones as well. There are two tour guides who assemble all the kids and have them play a "get to know you game" where everyone has to take off a shoe and put them in one of two piles --the Stoneybrook pile and the Berger (the school from Toronto) pile. I've had to participate in an activity like this before and it's as stupid as it sounds. You grab a shoe and you're supposed to find its owner. This seems really gross taking off one of your shoes when you've been in a plane for hours....then you have to touch someone's shoe? Ewww. So Kristy is narrating this chapter and while all her friends hate this little activity, she thinks "the idea sounded cool." She had scribbled "Let's Go, Mets! "on her sneakers so she thinks that will be a great ice breaker (which I have  to agree), you know, as long as the person who has her shoe is a baseball fan! 

Kristy grabs a shoe that belongs to a French-Canadian boy named Michel DuMoulin and it doesn't go well from the second they meet:

He took his shoe back before shaking my hand. "Michel DuMoulin.

          "Michelle?" I asked.

          He gave me a curious look. "You sound surprised."        

"Well, it just - sounds like a girl's name. I mean, in my country. Like my sister's name, Emily Michelle."    

        I have such a big mouth. I should learn to shut it sometimes.

       Michel did not look pleased to meet me.

Great first impression there, Kristy. They bicker about baseball (Michel is a Blue Jay's fan) and Kristy isn't impressed with him either. Of course, everyone around them can tell there's some sexual tension (in the most G-rated way, of course) between the two of them and Stacey even tells her, "Just kiss him and put both of you out of your misery." Oh, Stacey! (Haha, she has no idea how right she was!) 

When they're at the Louvre, their group has left without Kristy and Michel. Obviously, this is for plot reasons, but kinda weird that a big group would just leave like that without taking a head count. These kids are only thirteen-years-old for God's sake. I was sixteen when I went to Paris and they did a roll call everytime we were supposed to go somewhere. They just wouldn't leave us somewhere. Of course, Kristy and Michel get into a fight, with Kristy blaming Michel for making them miss their tour group. I guess they had been given instructions to meet at the Eiffel Tower at five o'clock if they got separated from their group. Kristy is aghast since that's four hours from now and she doesn't want to spend all this time with Michel. 

Michel may be a bit of a pest, but he's nowhere near the level that Alan Gray is and it's pretty obvious he likes Kristy. He'll tease her and be in whatever group she's in. During this time when they're alone together, waiting to kill the time until it's five o'clock, they go to a patisserie and she tells him she doesn't know him and they're going to sit at separate tables. Apparently, when Michel ordered first, he told the girl behind the counter to act like she couldn't understand English, so therefore when Kristy tries to order her pastry, the girl has no idea what she's saying (even though Kristy is literally pointing at the pastry in the case!) When Kristy tries to get Michel to help her, he says he doesn't know her and everyone is laughing (I guess everyone in the store was in on this prank). Of course, we find out the girl can speak English and she serves Kristy. Kristy says she has "never felt so embarrassed in my life" and if this is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to her, well, that's pretty good. Michel apologizes and tells her he thought it was the only way to get her to talk/sit with him. (Another obvious sign he's into her). Kristy takes this way out or proportion and says she's leaving, but he tells her it's too dangerous to go out in the city by herself, she starts SCREAMING at him, telling him he's dangerous (really, Kristy?) and making this huge scene. I feel a bit sorry for the guy:

Michel recoiled. That's the only way I can describe it. It was as if I'd hit him.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I thought - you know, all our arguments, the insults - I thought we were just kidding around. I thought we were having fun together. I wouldn't dream of hurting you, Kristy."

Michel makes a deal with her because he knows that a thirteen-year-old should not be wandering the streets of Paris alone (though, I guess it's okay if two thirteen-years-old are wandering the streets of Paris, though I guess that is better, especially if one of them speaks French) and tells her he's been to Paris many times and is familiar with the city. He tells her:

"Let's make a deal. We can pretend to be friends, like an acting exercise. I promise not to play pranks or make jokes. You promise not to insult me."

I don't know why they have to "pretend to be friends"; why not just call a truce and have him say he won't play pranks if Kristy doesn't insult him? Oh, well. So she agrees and they hang out together and actually enjoy each other's company and a couple of people even think they're a couple. When they have to leave, Kristy kisses him and they write each other in the epilogue. 

I actually kind of enjoyed the "Kristy has a romance in a SS subplot" because it's something we've never really seen before. Claudia and especially Stacey get so many of those, but when it's Kristy, it's way more interesting since Claudia and especially Stacey go through boyfriends like Kleenex. 

When they're in London, they visit Victoria Kent, the "little princess" that Mary Anne had a sitting gig for. Abby tells us that she and Mary Anne are the ones who spent most of their time baby-sitting Victoria and know her the best and I do not remember Abby ever baby-sitting for her, so I don't know if I just remembered things wrong or they retconned this in. Of course, I read all the books post 70s on my laptop last summer, so all of that is pretty much a blur and I probably didn't retain a lot of information. Abby thinks Victoria lives in a castle even though Mary Anne tells her (at the BSC meeting before they go to Europe) that she doesn't. 

When Abby visit her (with the rest of the BSC along the way, of course), she thinks their house is the servant's quarters. But, no, it's the house Victoria lives in with her family. She describes the house as "a large, Tudor-style house with a nicely kept lawn," so while she doesn't live in a castle, it sounds like they have a very nice home. Turns out that Abby thought she lived in a castle because Victoria called her house "Kent Castle." Abby tells us she tries not to look disappointed. I don't know why she's so butt hurt over this. It sounds like the Kents live in a perfectly nice, lovely home (Abby even tells us it's "beautiful" when she's inside the house.) I guess she really wanted to visit a royal family in a castle. 

Victoria tells them she's going to meet the Queen tomorrow at Buckingham Palace and will be presenting flowers to her. That's actually quite adorable. She asks Abby if she would like to accompany her because she needs a "guardian" and her parents will be busy with the event and her nanny/housekeeper "can't stand on her rotten ankles for more than two minutes with complaining". Of course, Abby is thrilled and gets permission to go. 

There are about two dozen young girls who will be presenting the Queen with flowers and they're all standing along the road with their guardians behind them. The girls are "the daughters of the various ambassadors and politicians who have organized the event." Abby soon realizes she won't actually be meeting the Queen herself and is disappointed by this. (Poor Abby, she gets quite disappointed a lot during her trip to London, doesn't she?) 

Abby tells us the Queen was escorted by a Prince she recognized from the news. Hmm, I wonder who it was? I feel like she would know Prince Charles. Prince Andrew, perhaps? I must admit, I'm not really familiar with who else would be popular princes in the news back in the '90s. By accident, Abby ends up stepping on his shoes as she's running to meet up with Victoria after she's presented the Queen with the flowers. A photographer snaps a picture of the moment and it ends up in a weekly newsmagazine that Victoria sends Abby in the epilogue chapter. Yes, we see the photo (illustration), and yes, it is hilarious 

In Paris, Abby writes in her journal that they visited the Pompidou Centre which I've also visited. I only remember it being an "inside out" building and don't remember anything about the interior at all so now I'm questioning myself if I actually went inside it or just saw the outside. 

One day, while most of the group goes to EuroDisney, a small group, including Abby and Kristy decide to tour the Parisian sewer system which I know is a thing. I honestly don't see what the point of going to EuroDisney, especially if you're an American. Go to Disney World; that's the best one. Even Disneyland is acceptable. If you're a European kid, fine, I get it. But an American in Paris going to EuroDisney? Why?? What is the point?? 

Before I move on from Abby, I need to mention that during the BSC meeting before they all go to Europe, she's talking about Elvis (who's she a huge fan of; I never met a teen in the '90s who was an Elvis stan) and how he was in the army. Claudia asks her which war he was in and, I shit you not, Abby says she doesn't know, but guesses the Civil War. The f**k? First of all, did Peter Lerangis get Abby confused with Claudia and thought she was the dumb one? Kristy does set Abby straight and tells her Elvis wouldn't have been around during the Civil War and Abby says something lame about missing class that day.

Jessi finds out the dance company she was in for a month in New York will be performing at the Barbican Centre in London while she'll be there. Of course, she and the European-travelin' baby-sitters go to see the performance, one that Jessi is familiar with and knows all the moves to, mind you. While she is visiting her ballerina friends in the green room, a fellow dancer has sprained her ankle right before the show is to start and if that wasn't bad enough, the understudy is sick with food poisoning. So guess who is asked to take the dancer's place? Yep, good thing Jessi already knows those dance moves because she's going onstage! Uh, I feel like this would never happen in real life. Even if they know Jessi, you just can't take a random girl from the the audience and ask her to be in the production. Also, isn't there more than one understudy for this ballet? That's very baffling. But, anyway, they rush to find Jessi a costume and she's whisked onto stage and all her friends are just so amazed she's dancing. She does mention she makes a few mistakes (well, duh, it's been awhile since she's done this dance and she barely had time to warm up), but other than that, it was an amazing experience.

That's pretty much all that happens for Jessi. She pretty much has the most boring storyline abroad. Still way more exciting than anything that happens in the Stoneybrook chapters. 

Mallory has cousins who live in London so she visits them. From what I gather, the woman, Gillian, is her mother's cousin (making her Mal's second cousin? I always get so confused with the different degrees of cousins) and she has two young children, Bernard and Brett. The thing I'm confused about is Gillian introduces her sons to Mallory as being their second cousin...wouldn't she be their third cousin? Oh, well, I'm not going to give myself a headache thinking about it. 

Gillian is a writer, so of course Mallory is in awe of her. She hasn't published a book yet, but has a contract for one to be published. 

Gillian shows Mallory the family tree for her mom's side. A couple things:

1. Mallory's mother's maiden name is Bennett. Mallory Bennett sounds way better than the more guttural-sounding PIKE. 

2. Mallory's mother name is listed as Diana. I thought her name was Deidre? Did I just make this up?

3. The family tree goes back quite a few centuries and it turns out Mallory is related to none other than...William Shakespeare! Ah, that must explain where she gets her love for writing (not to mention Vanessa's incessant poetry!)

Of course, Mallory realizes they're not that closely related since Shakespeare is very far removed from her. I did have to roll my eyes when both groups of kids are going to visit Stratford-upon-Avon and she says this about the Toronto students:

The Berger kids were pretty cool. For the first time, we were all talking together getting to know each other. I did not, however, tell them about ancestry. I didn't want them to treat me like a celebrity or anything.

 Don't worry, Mal, I don't think there's any possibility of that happening. 

Mallory is working on a story (she's on vacation; why does she need to be writing a story?) and is having trouble with it so she's hoping to channel some Shakespeare energy. Her story is called "If Life is a Barrel of Monkeys, I Must Be a Banana" which must be one of the worst titles I've ever heard. 

It was about a girl going totally nuts because her parents expect too much of her, her brothers and sisters tease her and her best friend moves to New York City.

 Wow...that certainly doesn't sound familiar :::rolls eyes::: And let's not forget, Jessi ALMOST did move to NYC when she attended that dance school, but didn't. At least Mal tells us that her teacher told her to "write what you know". Can't say she didn't take his advice! However, she decides to change up her story and have her main character go back in time and switch places with Shakespeare's daughter. So she's pretty much writing an episode of Quantum Leap! Sounds way better than her original idea.

It turns out Mallory is so engrossed in her story that while she's in Paris, she's barely paying attention to the Bastille or Notre Dame or the Tuileries Garden. It kinda reminds me of when Jessi is in Hawaii and is so busy taking pictures for the scrapbook for Mallory that she's barely enjoying anything for herself. 

So that's everyone who traveled abroad. Now we'll go to Stoneybrook where the rest of our girls are going to be counselors for Playground Camp. BO-RING. Now, would you rather travel to London and Paris or have to baby-sit a bunch of kids? Hmmm, real tough decision there. 

Claudia tells us:

I could have gone on that trip to Europe. But I hadn't wanted to. I had preferred to stay in Stoneybrook. I'd never been a counselor in a real, official camp before. And I love kids. 

 I call bullshit on this. Bull. Shit. Claudia had preferred to stay in Stoneybrook? Puh-leeze. Gimme a break! Claudia would have LOVED London and Paris. The fashion! The art museums! The architect! The culture! The desserts! The Parisian desserts alone should have been enough to get her to go! And I get that she loves kids, but, my God, she baby-sits all the freakin' time! Take a break, girl! Also, wasn't she a counselor when they were at Camp Mohawk? Okay, she was a Counselor-in-Training, but still...

It turns out the orginial head counselor is not able to perform her duties, so Janine will be stepping in for her. She will be the head co-counselor along with her ex-boyfriend, Jerry. We get some backstory from Claudia explaining to us that Jerry only wanted Janine to help out because he was trying to get back together with her. They must be the Ross and Rachel of the BSC series, because they've already broken up twice. Janine being a camp counselor doesn't really vibe with her academic character, so I'm guessing she's only doing it because it will look good on her resume when she applies for Harvard/Yale/Princeton/Oxford. (Poor Claudia will be attending Stoneybrook Community College and her sister will have gone to one of those prestigious universities!) 

Janine is being a bit of a hardass on Claudia and when Claudia goes off on her about it, Janine apologizes and tells her she's been taking her frustration out on her because of Jerry. Man, that guy is an ASS! I don't remember him from the series, but we get this exchange between the Kishi sisters:

"He's been overbearing, Claudia. He has so much more experience than I do, and I can't seem to catch on."

"You were doing fine a little while ago."

"I thought so. I'd set up a math contest for the campers - you know, weird, fun problems. Like a game show. I worked all last night on the concept. And the kids were loving it. But Jerry told me to pack it up."

"Why?"

"Not appropriate. He said, 'This is a summer camp, not a college classroom.' But that's how I relate to kids. I tutor them. I get them interested in math and science."

"They were having fun. That's appropriate."

"He's been saying things like that all week, Claudia. I feel as though I can't do anything right. So I try harder and harder. And it doesn't seem to matter. He just chides me even more."

Basically, Janine tells Claudia that she has been using her as her punching bag because of her frustration at Jerry. I like that Claudia sides with Janine even though she wouldn't have liked a math contest game. I don't know why Jerry is such an ass to Janine about it. I would assume he's a math and science nerd too if he dated Janine, so you think he would have though that was a great idea. Plus, not all kids are going to want to play outside on the playground all the time; I'm sure many of them would love something to stimulate their minds. Jerry SUCKS! Claudia tells her to ignore what Jerry says and do things her way. 

Mary Anne pretty much spends her two chapters whining about her nemesis, Cokie Mason, who's also a camp counselor. Mary Anne describes her more like one of the kids they're watching and we learn the only reason she was able to become a counselor is because her mom is on the Board of Education and they are the ones who run the camp. Nepotism at its finest. 

I'm still shocked that Mary Anne didn't go to two of the most iconic cities in the world, being a walking tour book and all that! 

Have I mentioned this whole Playground Camp storyline is the most boring in all of the SS plot lines? I'm surprised that Mallory didn't stay in Stoneybrook to be part of this boring plot line!

Dawn only has one chapter. What was the point of coming back to Stoneybrook? Oh, yeah, to spend time with Mary Anne and her mom. Dawn spends her chapter at the Sunshine Gang Day Camp, which is a camp for special needs children. (She's sent there because someone is sick). Susan, the autistic girl we met many moons ago in Kristy and the Secret of Susan, is there and the head counselor tells Dawn she wants her to keep an eye on the kids in the gym, but also to keep an eye on the room where Susan is playing the piano because they need someone to accompany her if she leaves. Um, how does this woman expect Dawn to be in two places at once?  

After the counselor leaves the room, Susan stands up from the piano and also walks out, so Dawn follows her to a room which is the same room the woman told Dawn she would probably go to. In that room is a "big, padded apparatus that looked like some weird weight machine." Dawn is freaked out when Susan wedges herself between the pads and it begins to move closer to her when she pushes a button. Dawn starts freaking out and calls for the counselor. How dumb is Dawn? Because literally not even a minute ago, the woman told her that they set up Susan's machine in there which is a hug machine since she doesn't like physical contact from humans, so this is how she gets her comfort. Like, duh, Dawn, weren't you listening? So the woman has to come back and tell Dawn about it...again! 

Fun fact: we learn that Dawn has been to France on a family trip. I could care less about Dawn not going abroad; but Claudia and Mary Anne should have definitely been on that trip! 

If you ever read this book, just skip the Mary Anne, Dawn, and Claudia chapters. Trust me, you will thank me. They are so boring and they disrupt the flow of the book. This is a book about a European vacation and that's what you came for! 

It's a Party for the BSC in the USA!

Whoo-hoo, road trip! It's time for Super Special #14, BSC in the USA! This is going to be a fun one, so buckle up! (Haha, get it?) So the BSC girls are splitting into two groups (with some other people who are related to a coupe of them) and going on a road trip across the USA. One group is going across the northern U.S. and the other group is going across the southern part. The tag line on the back of the book says, "From Stoneybrook to Palo City, it's 3,000 miles of fun, friends, and adventures!" Personally, I would have made it "From Connecticut to California..." to give it that nice alliteration, but I'm a fan of alliteration, what can I say? (That's probably why my movie blog is called Cinematic Sara). 

Why are the girls going on a cross-country road trip? Well, let me explain how it all happens. Dawn and Jeff are in Stoneybrook for the summer, but Jack wants to fly to Stoneybrook two weeks earlier and take them back in an RV. He has an art dealer friend from New York (it would make more sense if this was Carol's friend since she's an artist, but whatever) who's moving to L.A. This guy has an RV and Jack has volunteered to drive it to California for him. Why the fuck anyone would want to drive a big, honking' RV across the country is beyond me. Look, I've never ridden an an RV and I know people who have them and love them, but I would hate to drive something that big. Why isn't Mr. Choi, Jack's friend, driving the RV himself, you ask? Because he doesn't have time. Jack thinks this will be the perfect opportunity to take Dawn and Jeff across the country in the RV. Personally, I think this is a huge dick move. He's cutting their stay short with their mother by two weeks and he has permanent custody of these kids. He has all the time to spend with them and Sharon only really gets to see them during the summer (as long as they're not going to Hawaii or on road trips!) or holidays.

Dawn mentions this to the BSC members and OF COURSE Watson wants to do the same thing too. He plans to cancel the original vacation plans his family had so he can rent an RV and take (most of) his family across the country. I'm dying to know what the original plans for their family vacation were. Because I would be pissed if I were going somewhere cool/relaxing with my family and instead had to go on a two week road trip across America in an RV with my whole family. Ugh, no thank you.  Oh, and of course he invites all of Kristy's friends, but none of his other kids are allowed to bring friends! Guess Karen and David Michael should feel lucky they were allowed to invite friends when they went to Shadow Lake. Also, this reminds me of the time when Mr. Pike wins that trip to the Bahamas and Disney World and of course Watson has to take his family too! Stop flaunting your wealth, you obnoxious millionaire! But because there are so many people in the Brewer RV, most of the other girls go with Jack, Dawn, and Jeff. Everyone gets to pick out one place they get to visit.

In the Northern Route RV we have:

1. Jack -wants to go to  San Fransisco. Now, I don't know how far Palo City is from SF, but you'd think he's been there several times before and might want to go somewhere he's never been? Kristy writes "he insists it's the coolest city in the USA. Maybe he hasn't been to New York." I would understand if Stacey was narrating this chapter and said that, but I didn't know Kristy had some kind of allegiance to New York. I guess it's an East Coast allegiance thing? 

2. Dawn - wants to visit a ghost town. Um, does she realize a ghost town is defined as "a deserted town with few or no remaining inhabitants" and doesn't actually have literal ghosts (since there are no such thing). I didn't think Dawn was that stupid...unless she does know what a ghost town is and wants to visit one...because? I'm not really sure. It would make more sense for her to want to go to Salem, MA, even though they will visit there in a Mystery Super Special (though I can't remember if Dawn was with them) and that's more witches than ghosts, but it least it has more of a spooky ambiance. Although I guess since they're heading west from Connecticut and Massachusetts is north of them, it wouldn't make sense for them to go there. 

3. Jeff - wants to go to Yellowstone National Park. Pretty solid pick if you ask me.

4. Mary Anne - wants to go to Maynard, Iowa, to visit her grandmother, which is sweet.

5. Claudia - wants to go to the Art Institute of Chicago.

6. Stacey - wants to go to Seattle. But ONLY because Ethan, the guy from New York who she likes, will be there on vacation. I read this book right after I read Aloha Baby-Sitters and it was kind of a shock to me because in that book she was with Robert, and now she likes some guy named Ethan? Now I've read the book where she breaks up with Robert and meets Ethan, so now I know the backstory. I'm not sure when she and Ethan become boyfriend/girlfriend, but I don't think they're at that stage in this book. It seems like they're just sort of crushing on each other. I have a huge problem with her going all the way to Seattle just to meet some guy that lives in New York where she goes every weekend, anyway. So what the hell? You go to Seattle to go to Seattle, not to hook up with some guy who basically lives only an hour away from you! 

In the Southern Route RV we have:

1. Watson - wants to go to Lester, Oklahoma because he has a friend from college there who he hasn't seen in ten years. Seriously, Watson? Why the fuck are you dragging your wife, kids, and three of your daughter's friends to see one of your college buddies? Maybe do this on your own time? Now I realize I didn't get upset that Mary Anne wanted to see her grandma, but I feel like that's different. It's her grandmother and she lives far away and Mary Anne isn't a grown ass adult millionaire who can see her grandmother anytime she wants. For some reason, Kristy narrates, "Why anyone would live in a place called Lester, I don't know." And I don't know what that means. The place is called Lester. The people who live there can't help what it's called. It's not like it's called Poopytown. Now I would understand why people wouldn't want to live in a place called Poopytown. Unless Kristy is implying that Lester sounds like "Molester" which is kinda surprising if the book is going there. It's just very odd. I Googled "Lester, Oklahoma" and it doesn't appear to be a real place. Much like Stoneybrook!

2. Elizabeth - wants to see "something scenic". This will end up being the Grand Canyon. The fact that nobody in the Southern vehicle picked the Grand Canyon in the first place is baffling to me. That seems like a no brainer site to see! 

3. Kristy - wants to see "as many major league ballparks as possible." Um, what? I thought they were only supposed to get ONE place to visit? 

4. David Michael - wants to see a rodeo. I had no idea David Michael was into rodeos. And, really, he didn't want to go to a theme park? 

5. Karen - wants to go to Four Corners. You know I can't stand Karen, but I gotta say that this is a good, solid pick.

6. Andrew - wants to go to the San Diego Zoo. Makes sense for a little kid to want to see.

7. Mallory - wants to go to Chincoteague (or as Kristy spells it, "Chinkateeg"; at least she admits she knows the spelling is wrong - God, I'd hate to see Claudia's spelling of that), the setting of her favorite horse book. 

8. Jessi - wants to go to Dalton, Mississippi where her ancestors were slaves on a plantation and she wants to see if she can find out information about them. Now I can see college-aged Jessi wanting to go on this journey, but eleven-year-old Jessi? I feel like her parents should be with her to visit a place that has such a heavy and heartbreaking history for her ancestors and not, you know, a bunch of white people, all of who (save for Mallory) live in mansions! If she wanted to go to a place with prominent black culture, why not go to Atlanta or New Orleans? And I'm SHOCKED she didn't want to go to a famous ballet/dance theater. Wait, no, I'm SHOCKED she didn't want to go to Texas. I don't remember which book it is, but I swear theres' a book where she says she's always wanted to go there. Now I can't remember if there was a specific place or just the state in general and I thought it was totally random that she wanted to go there, but there you go. Why doesn't she want to go to Texas? 

9. Abby - wants to go to Graceland because she's an Elvis fan.

So, as you can see, the Brewer RV has three more people, so to even things out, one of them has to go in the Schafer RV. This turns out to be Kristy since there are ballparks everywhere. However, I think it's ridiculous that her mom and Watson allow this since this is supposed to be a family trip (with a couple of her friends along!) Yeah, Sam and Charlie aren't there because they're at camp. (Though no way they're going even if they aren't at camp!) And yeah, Emily Michelle is too young to go, so Nannie is staying home to take care of her. (And you know she's relieved she doesn't have to go on this trip!) But I doubt Elizabeth and Watson would let Kristy go in the other RV. There are some protests from them and even Abby volunteers to be the one to move and to think of another place to go. To me, that seems like the most obvious choice. I'm sure Abby knows she has plenty of other opportunities to visit Graceland another time. But Kristy is like, "Nope, I want to do it this way." WTF, you can't go on a family vacation with your own family, Kristy? Guess she didn't want to travel with Karen! 

It's interesting that you have the five original BSC members in one RV and the three newest ones in the other RV. (Although there's a huge gap from when Mallory and Jessi joined (book 14) to when Abby joined (book 90)!)

I have a few qualms about their chosen destinations. Some of them are specific places and some of them are cities. And again, why does Kristy get to go to multiple locations? They will also go to places that nobody picked. How the hell did they manage to see everything they do in a two-week span is beyond me. I've never taken a road trip across the entire country so I don't know how realistic theirs is.

It is mentioned that this is Jack's first time in Stoneybrook which is surprising to me. He was married to Sharon for at least 12 years and never came to Stoneybrook with her to visit her parents? Did Sharon just visit Stoneybrook by herself when she was married to Jack? Did her parents always visit her in California? It is also mentioned that this is Jack's and Richard's first time meeting each other (awkward!), and yeah, that makes sense. 

Okay, before we jump into everybody's storyline, let's take a look at the cover:

My actual copy! 

Kristy, Jessi, and Mary Anne are all wearing the same outfit: khaki shorts with a polo top. Out of all of these, I like Kristy's interpretation of the outfit the best: I like the pocket on her shorts and her Krusher hat is a nice touch. Mary Anne looks like she's wearing one of Logan's outfits - it looks like something a boy would wear (pretty sure my brother had an outfit similar to this when he was in high school!) and it looks extremely baggy on her. Once again, Claudia has the best outfit. Even though her shorts looks like they have colorful blobs on them, I'm guessing they're supposed to be flowers. I also like her shirt's shade of blue much better than Mary Anne's. I  always love Claud's hoop earrings in these Super Special covers. She seems to be the only one who ever wears earrings. Stacey looks like a soccer mom in her floral dress and pearl necklace. Also, her face looks extremely shiny for some reason. I don't have any problems with Abby's outfit, but, dang, you think she would want to tie back all her curly hair. That has to be HOT in the summer. Mallory's horse shirt is...kinda dorky, I'm not gonna lie. Look, I have no problem with horses being on clothes, but I think there' a better way to do it. This looks like an actual photo of a horse was pasted onto a t-shirt. I've seen horse prints/patterns/designs on tops done much better than this. Dawn is Dawn. She's wearing a shirt with the Earth on it. Eh, whatever. At least I can tell Dawn and Stacey apart on this cover! That's always a plus. 

Buckle up; it's gonna be a bumpy ride! 

Kristy gets the second chapter where we get the obligatory introduction to everyone in the BSC and she tells us who is going in what RV and where everyone wants to go. She won't get another chapter until chapter 22, however her presence is felt throughout the entire book since they go to so many damn stadiums! They go to Jacob Fields in Cleveland (which is now called Progressive Field (I know because I Googled it)), Wrigley Field in Chicago, the stadium in Detroit, the stadium in Milwaukee, the Metrodome in Minneapolis (I've been there!), the Kingdome in Seattle, and Candlestick Park in San Fransisco. And God knows if they went to any other ones! That's seven stadiums! And if that's not bad enough they go to games to at least four of them. It's possible they went to more but weren't mentioned. Stacey, Claudia, Mary Anne, and Dawn don't even like baseball and hate going to the games (and I don't blame them!) I could understand going to ONE baseball stadium and seeing a game. It is absolutely ridiculous that Kristy gets to go to all these stadiums while everyone else just gets to pick one place. If I were Claudia, I'd want to go to other art museums. 

Towards the end of their trip, when they're at a game at Candlestick Park, the JumboTron is showing images of people in the stadium and who does Kristy and Mary Anne see on the screen? It's Kristy's biological dad with some woman. I mean, really, what are the odds of that? Kristy had mentioned that the last time she heard from her dad, the card was postmarked from Sausalito, so he's close to San Francisco. She also mentions that she had always wanted to visit a bunch of ballparks with him, but that never happened. The other girls are all for her trying to find him, but she's not sure. Which makes sense since he did walk out on his family and hasn't really kept in touch. If Kristy doesn't want to see him, then her friends shouldn't pressure her into it. Mary Anne tells her she has to look for him or she'll regret it (will she? really?), so Kristy agrees. They reference the time he came to Stoneybrook with that "sneak visit of his." They're referring to the movie, right? Have the books ever referred to the movie? I thought that was interesting. Kristy manages to find him and he's nice to her, but that's probably because he's there with his girlfriend, plus Kristy's friends and thousands of people are all around. We get this exchange from them:

"Aren't you going to ask how Mom is?" The words just flew out. I couldn't stop myself. "Or Charlie or Sam or David Michael?"

            "Are they here too?"

               "No. Just me."

            Dad let out a low whistle. "I wish I could see them."

            "Me, too. You could visit. The Brewers. Remember? McLelland Road."

            "Sure. I'd like to." Dad pulled a pen and a slip of paper out of his pocket and scribbled something on  it. Here's my address."

 Yeah, my bs radar is going off. Patrick doesn't care that the others aren't there and he has no desire to visit them. And Elizabeth wouldn't want that either. Kristy asks him to keep in touch and he does send a postcard, but Kristy sends all sorts of shade to him asking him if he can send an actual letter the next time he writes.

Claudia packs two down jackets "because you never know how cold it'll be." She claims this is because they'll be going north. True, the north doesn't get as hot as the south...but down jackets in summer? And two of them?? (One is for casual wear, the other is more dressed up). WTF is she thinking? She is talked out of packing them. She talks about how when they first started the trip, "the RV seemed like a house on wheels", but "somewhere outside of Connecticut the house seemed to start shrinking." Yikes, that didn't take very long! But I think it's realistic that for such a long trip, that was inevitably going to happen. It's too bad for Claudia it happened so soon! She talks about the boredom she endures and how she can take so much of playing cards or Twenty Questions and can't sketch the scenery because they're driving by so fast. Nobody really talks about the bathroom situation (although there is a scene where Dawn and Jeff are fighting over it), but one bathroom and seven people? Phyllis Nefler would say they were roughing it and she would be right! 

Claudia comments:

During the trip, I discovered a lot of unexpected things about my friends. For instance, I had no idea that Kristy likes to wash her hair with soap to "save time" (I nearly fainted). Or that Jeff eats peanut-butter-and-tuna-fish sandwiches. Or that Dawn's organic apples sometimes have worms, which I found out the hard way.

What the fuck? Claudia nearly faints because of Kristy using soap on her hair, but doesn't faint when she bites into an apple with a fucking worm in it? Get your priorities straight, Claud! Also, I'm confused about the washing hair with soap...is this a bar of soap? And how doe that save time? Why not just wear a shower cap and wash your hair every few days or so? Jeff's sandwich sounds absolutely disgusting.  

Jeff is such a brat. I'm surprised I'm even saying this, but he might even be worse than Karen in this. When he found out they're going to the Art Institute, he whines about it. Shut up, Jeff. Everyone gets one pick (except Kristy, apparently) and this was Claudia's pick. 

Claudia sees a spiral notebook she thinks might be hers since she brought a few along, but it doesn't look familiar to her. She opens it up and sees it belongs to Stacey. Stacey sees this and is FURIOUS that Claudia is reading it. And really, Claudia doesn't see anything scandalous. All she sees is that Stacey wrote about going to another baseball stadium in Detroit and she ate yummy Greek food and bought some earrings. NBD, right? Well, from Stacey's reaction, I'm guessing there must be some JUICY stuff in her diary and I'm dying to know what it is! She's so mad that she won't talk to Claudia again until almost the end of the trip and if she does say something to her, it's only her saying something snide to Claud. I am 100% on Claud's side here. She did nothing wrong. Stacey is just acting like a bitch. 

Before Chicago, they went to Cleveland where they went to the Rock and Roll Hame of Fame. We only learn about it from Claudia's journal entry where she writes "The Rockin Role Hall of fame was grate." She thinks that since they didn't have U4Me or "Blaid" (is that supposed to be Blade?), it must be because they're too new. I've never heard of Blaid/Blade in the BSC Universe (the BSCU?), but I suspect they're a made up group like U4Me. I also suspect they're probably pop. 

In her journal, Claud also writes that she "thot the mid west was all close together?" WTF? Has she even seen a map of the U.S.? The Midwest states are much bigger than the New England ones she's used to. Also, Claudia doesn't know the difference between Wrigley Field and Marshall Field. She just knows one's a baseball park and the other's a department store. Even if you're not a baseball fan, you've probably heard of Wrigley Field.

Later on, they'll go to the Wall Drug Store in South Dakota where Claudia finds a sketch that reminds her of something Georgia O'Keeffe would have drawn. The guy only charges her $1 for it which is a great deal because later on, she'll find out it WAS actually sketched by O'Keeffe! She finds this out when they reach Palo City and Mr. Choi (Jack's art dealer friend, if you remember) offers to pay her $500 for it. He does explain that if it were a painting, it would be worth more, but $500 for an authentic Georgia O'Keeffe sketch still seems a little on the low side. Even in 1997. She ends up keeping the sketch. I thought she might try to sell it for more money, but no, she hangs it up in her room because it makes her "feel so inspirred." Claudia writes a note to Mr. Choi and it always makes me cringe when she writes to someone she just met, especially if they're an adult because her spelling is so atrocious! She spells sketch as "scetch"; conversation as "conversasion", thought as "thot"; and feeling as "feling." (My spell check doesn't like Claudia's spelling either, it always wants to revert back to the correct spelling!) 

After visiting Chicago, Mary Anne calls her grandma, Verna, to tell her they're going to be a day late because there was so much to do in Chicago. I knew this was going to happen! There's no way they can go to all their scheduled stops (not to mention Kristy has ten of them!!), plus all the extra stops they make and get to Palo City in two weeks! No way! But before they go to Maynard, they have to go to Milwaukee and Minneapolis because Kristy has to see the baseball stadiums there. Seriously, why couldn't  Kirsty wait to go on this baseball park journey of hers when she was older and didn't have to drag along people who don't give a rat's ass about baseball to all these stadiums? 

Verna tells her that since there are painters at her house, she'll come to to meet her in Minnesota and they can meet in Bloomington. I had to chuckle when she said this because Mary Anne had just been telling us that she was getting tired of malls and ballparks. I can understand the ballparks, but I didn't realize they were going to so many malls! Of course, Bloomington is the home to the Mall of America. When Verna reveals this to Mary Anne, she's saying it as though Mary Anne would have never heard of it:

"It's called the Mall of America, " Grandma continued. "Meet me at the entrance to Camp Snoopy."

        I could feel the blood draining from my face. "A mall?"

        "The biggest and best you've ever seen."

 See, that exchange seems like Mary Anne doesn't know what the Mall of America even is. It opened in 1992, so it' been open for five years by this point. It kind of surprises me that Mary Anne has never even heard of the Mall of America. Maybe it's because she's in the East Coast. I am from the Midwest and I have been to the MoA at least ten times. This is because my brother used to live in Minnesota for quite awhile (Edina, and most recently, Stillwater) so I've always just known about it. Mary Anne isn't thrilled about the prospect of going to another mall, but agrees because Verna is adamant about it. 

It turns out that Mary Anne thinks the MoA is "pretty cool" (hellz yeah, it is!) and they go to Camp Snoopy and ride all the rides, Ha, I remember the last time I went to the MoA (about six years ago) and was so disappointed that the amusement park was no longer called Camp Snoopy. It had some other non-catchy name. I love the roller coaster. It's not scary at all, but still quite fun. 

Throughout the trip, there has been some tension between Mary Anne and Jack. He's been saying snide comments about Richard. Before they go to Chicago, Mary Anne comments that her dad often goes there for business trips and Jack says it must be nice to wine and dine on the expense account and how all his lawyer friends are workaholics and don't have time with their families. When they have lunch at a health food restaurant (Dawn's idea, of course) at the MoA, Mary Anne makes a face at whatever she's eating and Jack says, "Used to that heavy red-meat diet, huh?" and says "Old Richard seems like a meat-and-potatoes guy." Mary Anne says he only eats that once or twice a week, which seems pretty normal to me. Verna, bless her, tells Jack:

"My son-in-law eats very, very well, In fact, judging from that little belly of yours, you could take a tip from him!"

 OOH, BURN!!!! That was awesome. I love Verna. I wish she was my Grandma.

I have to wonder if Jack is giving Mary Anne a hard time about her dad because he still has feelings for Sharon and resents Richard for marrying her? I know, I know, there's a lot to unpack there. Now if Jack wasn't re-married to Carol by now, I would have just assumed he was mad that Sharon got re-married before he did and was taking out that resentment on Mary Anne, but that fact that her IS currently married makes me think he's doing this because he still has feelings for Sharon. He's not mean to her, per se, but he will lightly poke fun of her (or Stoneybrook or Richard). Mary Anne will confront Jack about this later and Jack apologies and everything is great, much like everything always is whenever a BSC member confronts an adult. 

Dawn is super obnoxious about other people eating meat. I can't quite pinpoint when this will start in the series, but by the time she moves back to California, a monster has been created. When they go see a game in Milwaukee, she lectures a vendor who's selling bratwurst and calls it "stuffed animal entrails." Dawn, STFU and leave the poor guy alone. He's just doing his job. Then, when they go to the health food restaurant at the MoA,  she MAKES the others order "succulent sautéed seitan cutlets." Seitan is wheat gluten and suppose to taste like steak, but Mary Anne tells us it doesn't. That sounds nasty. I actually have no problem with vegetarian dishes. When I get my three Hello Fresh meals, usually one or two of them are vegetarian meals becuase I think they're pretty tasty (and I'm not a vegetarian...but I don't eat a lot of red meat..I very rarely have red meat...Dawn would be proud!) Speaking of red meat, Dawn asks Mary Anne if she's gone back to it since she left Stoneybrook. I don't even remember Mary Anne saying she was going to stop eating red meat, but maybe I just don't recall when that happened.

When both RVs reach the Schafer home in Palo City, Watson has bought some cold cuts for everyone (which includes the other members of the We Love Kids Club) and Dawn is freaking out about "processed dead pig slabs!" One of the other WLKC girls is all, "Eww! Lunch meat!" And she says that in front of Watson who thinks they aren't fresh. OMG, STFU, you inconsiderate, spoiled girls. He was just trying to do something nice and there are people at this shindig who do like deli meat and if you brats don't like it, then eat all the other healthy choices like hummus or fruit! Ugh!!!!

Okay, let's rewind and go back to the road trip. After Minnesota, they find themselves in South Dakota and Jeff wants to go to Mammoth Site (apparently he gets to go to more than one place too!) and everyone agrees to go there (instead of Mount Rushmore). Dawn says to reach it, they have to drive across there entire state. Um, don't they have to drive across the entire state anyway if they're going to California. You guys want to go west! Unless they were planning another way to get to Cali? I'm very confused. 

Jack must be an idiot because he runs out of gas and they're in the Middle of Nowhere, USA. Now I'm pretty sure when you're in those rural areas, they tell you at the last town you're at that there are no gas stops/ bathrooms/ food anyway until the next ____ miles, especially if it's going to be awhile before you reach one. So why didn't Jack gas up? He manages to flag down another car that passes by with parents and two kids inside and he's going to hitch a ride with them back from where they came from to find some help. Now he does tell them to lock the RV and flag down a state trooper if they see one, but this seems like a start to a horror movie where the serial killer is looking for his next victim(s). The girls seem to be more concerned about the wildlife. I'm not really sure what else Jack can do (besides having gassed up in the first place!) 

When the sun starts to go down, they hear a coyote howling and Dawn thinks they should feed him so he'll quiet down. She also claims she thinks coyotes are vegetarians. Is she joking? What is her school in California teaching her? Jack comes back with a policer escort and they are able to continue their trip and after that Jack always gasses up at every town they stop in even if he doesn't need to. 

After going to Yellowstone AND Grand Teton National Parks (again, how do they find the time to do all of this??) they're in Idaho and still haven't found any ghosts towns to visit for Dawn's destination. Really? No ghost towns in South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, or Idaho? O-kay. 

When they're at a rest stop near Boise, they see a bunch of brochures for attractions (I presume they're near Boise since one of them is for the Boise zoo) and of course Dawn is bitching about what a waste of paper all those brochures are. But she does find something she thinks might be fun: "Buzzard Gulch - Idaho's Turn-of-the Century Haunted Village, Lovingly Recreated for Today's Visitor." Now any idiot can clearly tell this is a fun, touristy destination and not a "real, live ghost town" like Dawn thinks. She's super embarrassed about the whole thing, but everyone else thinks it's fun and have a good time and finally, so does Dawn. I wonder if ghost writer Peter Lerangis didn't think he could think of a storyline with a ghost town, so he opted for this option instead?  

I love when they go to Seattle because I've been there three times, so it was fun to see them visit a city I've been to. (I have also been to Chicago, but it was a long time ago and they didn't go to any of the places I went to). I've done the checklist of all the things Stacey says everyone wants to do. Jeff wants to go to the Space Needle? Been there twice. Mary Anne wants to ride the monorail? Yep, been on that. Dawns wants to check out the Pike Place Market (guess she doesn't care about fish!) Been there. The only things I haven't done are go to a Mariners game (Kristys' choice, what a shock!) or shake Bill Gate's hand (I'm guessing Jack was joking about that). I'm surprised nobody wanted to go to the first Starbucks. I've never been inside, but I have seen it...there was a LONG-ass line out the door. 

Stacey is supposed to meet Ethan at the Corner Coffee Shop at noon. Whether or not you have been to Seattle, you probably know it's known for it's MANY coffee shops. There is one on every corner. I still laugh when I think about the first time I visited Seattle and the first thing I saw at the airport when I got off the plane was a Starbucks. The only thing Stacey knows about its location is that it's near "some park" (which Seattle has many of!) and she thought she wrote down the address, but apparently she only wrote that it was "near Third Avenue" where Ethan is staying. This doesn't help much because that's a major street that runs through the whole length of downtown Seattle. You'd think a girl from NYC would know this! I could see if this were Mary Anne or Claudia or Kirsty, someone from small town USA not realizing this blunder, but Stacey? The City Girl? Really? Kristy asks if Ethan mentioned a cross street (which yeah, duh, why didn't he?) and Stacey comes to his defense, saying he's not from there. Yeah, but he should still know the address if he's planning on meeting Stacey and it wouldn't be that hard to figure out. 

They do manage to find the Corner Coffee Shop and Stacey goes in and waits...and waits. Half an hour later, Ethan still isn't there and she begins to panic. She calls Ethan (with a pay phone, snicker!) and leaves the following message:

"This is Ethan...I mean, Stacey! At the Corner. I'm Stacey, and can Ethan call me? No, he can't, what am I saying? McGill-Stacey McGill. Um...I'll call later."

Smooth, McGill. She then calls the operator and gets the address of other coffee shops with similar sounding names and writes them all down. It's too bad smart phones didn't exist during this trip because then she could just text Ethan or look up the address. They have to check three other addresses. One of them is by the aquarium, one of them is by the Amtrak Station, and one of them is by the Space Needle. 

Now, remember, they're in downtown Seattle with a fucking RV. That is just insane. I love how Stacey says they "zipped through downtown Seattle." Yeah, no, that doesn't happen. When we went to Seattle, we parked in a parking garage, then did a lot of walking and we took the monorail from the Space Needle to downtown Seattle. You don't want to be driving a car, much less an RV in downtown Seattle. I feel like Peter Lerangis maybe hasn't ever been to Seattle? IDK? 

Then dumbass Stacey realizes she left her pack at the original coffee shop they were at and has to go back to retrieve it. She's super lucky that nobody took it and the cashier had it and held onto it for her. And guess who is there? Why it's Ethan! Apparently, he pushed back the time and had called her parents to have them call her and tell her (again, this would be so much easeier if they had Smart Phones! Drat you, late '90s!), but her parents never got the message because they were both on vacation. (Since when does Ed McGill go on vacations?) So I guess she had the right coffee shop all along. 

While Stacey is having her coffee date, the others go see a Mariners game. Ugh, I would be so ticked off if I were Mary Anne, Dawn, or Claudia. Even Jack and Jeff, who seem to like baseball, have to be tired of going to all these games. And you're in freaking Seattle! Why not go to the Space Needle or Pike Place Market. They are a few years before the EMP (Experience Music Project) which was one of my favorite attractions when I visited Seattle the second time. (It's now called the Museum of Pop Culture and I'm not sure if it's still the same when it was the EMP, but it still has the funky exterior). Also, too bad the Chihuly Garden and Glass exhibit (which is right next to the Space Needle) didn't open until 2012 because Claudia would have LOVED that. But you'd think she'd want to go to some art museum/exhibit. Hopefully they did get to go to other sites besides the Kingdome and we just didn't hear about it because this chapter is told from Stacey's POV and she spends most of her time with a boy. A boy who lives in NYC, much closer to her, and she could have visited anytime. 

They end their evening by going up the Space Needle where they share a kiss. Stacey had such a wonderful time with Ethan that she can't help gushing about it to Claudia who she's supposed to be mad at. (And unless Stacey had something super juicy in that journal, I don't understand why she was so mad at Claudia. From what we read, it just seems like a mundane journal of what they've been doing on their trip. Who cares if Claudia accidentally saw a page? This is why I think there was something in that journal that she didn't want other people to see, but if she did, we never heard about what it was!) Obviously, Stacey just wants to rub it in Claud's face that she just had a romantic evening. Well, that's how it came off to me because she seems to conveniently forget about their fight. They do make up and everything is fine between them from that point on.

So that's it for the Northern Route RV. Before I go on to discuss the Southern Route, I have to wonder about something. Where did they sleep? In the RV? Did Jack just pull over or did they find a camping ground? They don't really discuss their sleeping arrangements. We know they spend the night at Yellowstone and Jack gets a couple of hotel rooms for everyone in San Fransisco. I kind of feel like Jack had a rotten deal because Watson and Elizabeth could at least take turns driving their RV, giving the other a rest, but Jack is the only one old enough to drive. 

So to remind everyone, the Southern Route RV has Abby, Mallory, Jessi, and these members of the Brewer/Thomas gang: Elizabeth, Watson, David Michael, Karen, and Andrew.

Abby is in heaven when they go to Graceland because she's an Elvis Stan. I don't remember any of the other books ever mentioning this, but I'm sure it's in there....right? I mean, I like a couple of Elvis songs, but I wouldn't be that enthralled to visit Graceland. I also think he's dead and has always been dead since he died in 1977. They do talk about how he might still be alive and of course Karen thinks she sees him, but she just saw a lookalike which doesn't surprise me they see a few of at Graceland. If people dress up like their favorite super heroes at ComicCon, then it would make sense that they dress up like Elvis when they visit Graceland! 

Watson and Elizabeth drop off the kids at Graceland. I don't know if I would be comfortable having the oldest person in the group be 13 and have her take care of my three kids in a city I've never been to at a pretty popular tour destination. Also, I don't buy this at all:

Watson announced that he and Mrs. Brewer needed "time off". He agreed to drop us kids at Graceland while they went to take a tour of a World War II bomber.

I mean, I already stated that Graceland wouldn't be my desired attraction, but even I would rather tour that than that a WWII bomber. Also, if they need "time off", why not go back to the RV (or hotel?) and take a nap. That's what I would do. Also, why is Watson called by his first name, but Elizabeth is always called "Mrs. Brewer"? That seems weird to me. I NEVER called my friends' parents "Mr. and Mrs. Whoever, I always referred to them by their first names. The only people I referred to as a "Mr./Mrs./Ms. were my teachers.  They're just so formal this way, but yet Watson has always been called Watson. Even Jack is called Mr. Schafer throughout the entire book. Even Mary Anne calls him Mr. Schafer. He's your stepsister's, dad, for god's sake; stop being so formal! Okay, tangent over! 

Elizabeth's pick was the Grand Canyon and Abby is super nervous about going there. We find out it's because it was her father's favorite place to visit. They had planned a trip for the whole family to go right before he was killed in a car accident, so they never made it out there and Abby doesn't want to go because she knows it will be too painful. This just broke my heart:

Anna and I were nine. We were so excited. Dad had made all the plans. I remember every detail.   We were going to stay at the Mather Campground and take a mule ride into the South Rim. I wanted so badly to try hiking to the bottom, the way Dad had always done, but he said no.

"When you're old enough, Abby, we will," he told me. "If you girls love the canyon as much as I do, I promise we'll go there many, many times together."

           We didn't even make it one time.

That is soooo sad. And good call for Mr. Stevenson for saying NO to a nine-year-old wanting to hike all the way to the bottom! I've never been to the Grand Canyon, but that has to be a strenuous hike. Nobody knows about all this, so they don't know how personal this is for Abby. Of course she does see the Grand Canyon and she ends up loving it and feels closer to her dad and wants to go there again with Anna and her mom. It's all actually very sweet.

Apparently, Jessi also gets to go to more than one place. The first place the Southbound RV visits is her hometown, Oakley, NJ. Her grandparents are making dinner for everyone and all her aunts, uncles, and cousins are coming over as well. The dinner consists of fried chicken, buttered biscuits, and okra. The chicken and biscuits, I can take or leave, but the okra? Get that slimy stuff away from me! 

This chapter is only in the book so Jessi can think Mallory is racist. Yep, you read that right. Jessi thinks her best friend (the one who stood up for her when all those kids who really were being racist when Jessi first started SMS) is a fucking racist. Seriously, Jessi, WTF? I've said it before and I'll say it again: Mal really does get shitted on in these Super Specials, doesn't she? I mean, even this is a new low for her. However, she never knows that Jessi thought she was a racist. Why does Jessi think she's a racist? Apparently, the way Mal is acting reminds Jessi of this girl, Alison (who I'm pretty sure we've never heard of until this moment and this backstory is only here to exist for Jessi to compare Mal to somebody), who Jessi invited over when she first moved to Stoneybook. Alison laughs at her family's African statues, did not want to eat the food that Jessi had touched (I'm unclear if Jessi had touched the actual food or just touched the plate it was on, because if she had touched the food, I also would not to eat food that somebody had physically touched!), and her dad isn't very nice when he comes to pick up his daughter and asks the Ramseys if more of "you people" are moving to town. That definitely reeks of racism. However, I'm confused...if Alison is a racist, why did she accept Jessi's offer to come over? That makes no sense. So long story short, the whole reason for that random backstory is so Jessi can have this thought:

Why did that pop into my mind? The look in Mallory's eyes. The unease. It reminded me of Alison.

           Never, I said to myself.

Mallory could never be like that. She was a totally different kind of person. So were her parents. It was an insult to put Mallory and Alison in the sane thought.

          But still....

Like, seriously, WTF, Jessi? She thinks the African art her grandparents house is decorated with is making Mallory uncomfortable (and, if for some reason, it is, we NEVER hear from Mallory about it) and "Was there a side of her I didn't know?" I had to laugh when Jessi thinks that maybe Mallory doesn't like the smells coming from the kitchen, then comments, "Couldn't be. Everybody loves fried chicken." Um, have you ever even MET Dawn? Also, no, Jessi, not everybody loves fried chicken. I like it; I don't LOVE it. 

When Jessi goes into the kitchen to help her grandmother with the food, her grandmother comments that Mal seems a little uptight. When Jessi tells her she's going to Dalton, her grandmother doesn't seem very thrilled about that and is asking why a ten-year-old would want to go there and Jessi reminds her she's eleven, like that magically makes her an adult, although in Stoneybrook, remember, you magically turn into an adult once you turn 13, so she's not far off. Her grandmother tells her to be prepared.

"What happened between the races was like an infection, Jessica. A virus. Back when our family was in Dalton, that virus was full-blown. What you see in those photos might not be too pretty. Some people think the civil rights movement cured the sickness. But it didn't. Oh, sure, it made things better. But it was more like a vaccine. The infection is still inside people. Even the ones who think they're immune. You and me."

 And Jessi thinks, And Mallory. So pretty much the only reason we have this whole Jessi-thinks-Mallory-might-be-a-racist chapter is because of her choice to visit where her ancestors were slaves and so we can get this dialogue from her grandmother and so Jessi can *think* that her best friend *might* be a racist. This wouldn't have happened if she had just gone to New Orleans or Texas or a dance school in Atlanta! Jessi's grandma notices Mal seems to be her old self, chatting with Keisha, Jessi's cousin (and original best friend):

I looked back toward the living room. Mallory was in full view now. She was laughing. Keisha was on one side of her, Isaac on the other. Little Kara, who's only two, was hugging Mal's legs. Grandma saw it, too. She chuckled. "Looks like she finally got over the jitters, didn't she?"

         "Well, some people are just afraid of the unknown, I guess," I said. 

         "Beg pardon?" Grandma gave me a puzzled look.

"Well, you know, she's not used to the...decor and the neighborhood--"

"She's your best friend, darling. The poor thing was worried about making a good impression, that's all."

Mallory saw me now and gave a cheerful wave. I waved back. Wow. Grandma's words hit me like a hammer. She was right about Mallory, I just knew it. I felt awful. Totally ashamed. Why hadn't I realized what was going on? Why had I assumed the worst?

Can I have Mary Anne's AND Jessi's grandmothers be my grandmothers?  

Jessi, you assumed the worst because the ghostwriters (especially there ones who write the SSs) abhor Mallory and wanted you to think she was a racist. We never hear about this from Mallory's POV and she never knows that her own best friend even thinks she might be a racist. Because if she does, no way those girls are staying friends, right? Actually, in the real world, I don't think Mal and Jessi remain close friends. Mal goes off to boarding school and doesn't Jessi go to that dance school in NYC? I see them keeping in touch through Facebook, but that's all. 

I can empathize with Mallory feeling shy/nervous. All of Jessi's Oakley relatives are there and I think Mal has only met her grandparents and Keisha. I am one who absolutely hates large gatherings (and unlike Mal, I could give a damn about giving a good impression) and even with my own relatives, I feel inadequate to everyone, I can't even imagine meeting a bunch of people I don't even know. When I find myself in large groups, I feel sooo uncomfortable that I usually end up in the bathroom, crying. Oops, did I just admit that? 

When she goes to Dalton, it's only her, Mal, and Abby. Watson and Elizabeth take the younger kids to lunch since the brochure said "some images may not be suitable for young viewers." Hmm, I guess 11 (or even 13 for that matters) doesn't qualifiy as a "young viewer." Wait, this is Stoneybrook where one turns into an adult once they turn 13! What am I talking about? Jessi is in small tour group and asks if there are records of the slave families and the guide tells her that it's impossible to know who they were since they were only referred by their first names. 

She meets a woman who tells her she's there to work on "some doctoral research on the Mississippi slave trade" and tells Jessi "it's almost impossible to find specific genealogical information on slave families." Jessi will later write this woman when she gets back to Stoneybrook, telling her she thinks they might be related. So I guess at least she found out something about her family. But, gee, that's awfully convenient she's related to the woman she met at Dalton! 

Jessi actually even narrates the chapter where they go to Ten Gallon, Texas, and make no mention of how she's always wanted to go to Texas (also Ten Gallon does not appear to be a real place in Texas). They go to a rodeo because that was David Michael's totally random choice for something to see. However, they feel sorry for the calf and decide not to watch it. Man, it was a good thing Dawn wasn't there! She would have had a fit!  

Like I mentioned earlier, we never get any of Mallory's thoughts of visiting Jessi's family, so for all we know, she could be a raging racist! They go to Chincoteague (which I believe is in Virginia) and I think even Jessi is more excited about this than her chosen destination. Though, like Mal, she does love the Misty of Chincoteague books. I've never read the books so I know nothing about it. I guess Misty is based on a real horse and you can see the original Misty, preserved, which seems kind of morbid. Luckily, they don't see that! 

I had to laugh because Mal is dismayed by the traffic and how touristy everything is:

This wasn't at all what I was expecting. This wasn't the Chinoteague Island I'd read about. Chinoteague was a little village where kids ran around barefoot in the streets and old folks swapped stories on the front porch. At least it was in all the Marguerite Henry books.

Yeah, and the book was published in 1947 and who knows when it took place. She would have to know it wouldn't be like the book, right? They have a picnic on Assateague Island (WHO came up with that name?) where all the ponies are. At first they don't see any, but then, of course Mal spots a whole herd of them and her whole vacation is complete and she's happy. Just nobody tell her that her best friend thought she was a racist!

While the gang was in Chincoteague, they meet a girl named Felicitas (is that just a fancier version of Felicity?) who goes by the name Liz. Mal comments that she's about her age, and to me, she feels more authentic at eleven than Jessi or Mal do who both come off way older than 11 (not all the time, though!) Liz is traveling with her grandparents and she's a know-it-all, annoying kid. They are taking a trip to the West Coast and they will run into the Brewer/Thomas RV a few more times. Honestly, I'm not sure what the point of this whole storyline was. 

At the beginning of the book, I noticed the dedication page said "Special thank to Bonnie Bryant, Clifton Lewis, Peter Rogers, and Janet Vultee." Now I know Bonnie Bryant wrote the Saddle Club series and I wondered if she helped with the Chincoteague chapter. You know, even though her series was set in Virginia, I don't remember the Pine Hollow girls ever going to Chinoteague...you'd think they would since they love horses! Though it's possible they did and I either just don't remember or it was in a SC book I didn't read. I don't know who the other people are, though. 

When they visit Waston's old college buddy in Oklahoma, there's a tornado (I see you, Lerangis, I know you saw Twister the year before) and everyone has to take shelter in the bathroom because there's no basement. We find out that Watson went to Baylor which kind of surprised me because I thought he would be more of an East Coast school kind of guy. So is he from Texas, I wonder. I doubt it because we would get a description of his "Texas twang" in every book. Did Lerangis go to Baylor and this is a shoutout? Watson's friend and his wife have a baby and of course the girls are all gaga over her and want to hold her. I mean, it's just a baby, chill. The tornado is a little scary, but nothing too destructive. 

The Southern RV also makes an impromptu stop in Zuni, New Mexico. That is the place where the SES kids had penpals from and there was a fire at their school  and Dawn and the others hold a fund raising event for them in Dawn and the Big Sleepover. I always just assumed Zuni was a fictional town like Stoneybrook, but it's actually a real place in New Mexico. While there, they see a plaque at the new school that is dedicated to "The Children of Stoneybrook, Connecticut". Karen is all about semantics and says it was "not all the children; just one particular school." (I mean, technically she is right. Why not give SES credit?) It's pretty obvious Lerangis read Dawn and the Big Sleepover before writing this chapter because they meet some of the kids and Mal mentions she met the kids who were penpals with some of her siblings and they also meet Haley Braddock's penpal. 

I guess Hell must have frozen over because I actually feel sorry for Karen Brewer in this book! I mean, it's only for a fleeting moment, but still! Because they have gone to Zuni, Watson doesn't think they'll have time to go to Four Corners, Karen's choice of destination. They still have to go the Grand Canyon and the San Diego Zoo before they go to Palo City. Karen had her heart set going to Four Corners because she planned to put her left foot in Arizona, her right foot in New Mexico, then lean down and put her left hand in Utah and her right hand in Colorado. That made me laugh because it sounds like something young me would do. But, of course, Karen turns on the waterworks and her parents feel bad for her and they end up going to Four Corners. Figures. Well, if they had skipped it, I still would have felt bad for Karen. Here we have Kristy in the other RV getting to go to, like, ten destinations, and Karen wouldn't have gotten to go to the one place she wanted to. 

Apparently, David Michael had told Karen that Four Corners was just going to be a patch of dirt and I was like, WTF? Isn't there a monument there? I've never been there, but I've seen the episode of Breaking Bad where Skyer goes there. Of course, there is a monument when Karen and the others go there.

Their last stop is the San Diego zoo and Andrew is thrilled to see the panda bears. 

Oh! We also get a huge continuity error when both RVs reach the Schafer house in Palo City and the We Love Kids Club girls are there as well and Maggie says this to Dawn: 

"Stephie Robertson's mom wants you to baby-sit next Wednesday."

Um, I thought Stephie's mom died when she was a baby? Whoops-a-daisies!  

I really liked this Super Special (even though some things drove me crazy) and was thinking about which RV I would want to ride in. Even though the Southern RV has Karen in it, I feel like it would be fun to visit the Grand Canyon, Four Corners, the San Diego Zoo, and Chinoteague. I've been to Chicago, Minneapolis, and Seattle, so it would make more sense for me to go the Southern route. 

Say Aloha to Your Friends!

 Aloha! It's time to visit Hawaii with the Baby-Sitters Club in Super Special #13, Aloha, Baby-Sitters! The girls are off to the state of beaches, volcanoes, and pineapples because SMS is offering a school trip there. Does this seem odd to anyone else? Not that Hawaii doesn't have its share of historical and cultural relevance, but I don't think of it as a place you would go on a class trip...no, Hawaii is reserved for those on romantic getaways or honeymoons. Or people who like to surf! When I was in high school (I don't think my middle school ever offered trips), they offered trips to France, Germany, and Spain (since French, German, and Spanish were the languages taught) during the summer (and I went to France with a group from my school since I took French) and I also remember there were trips offered to New York and D.C. Less than ten students went on those trips and I'm not sure if there was a limit or they just didn't get that many kids to sign up for them for whatever reason. When I went to France, there was probably twenty of us (and two teacher chaperones) and we were paired with another high school group from Seattle. When SMS goes to Hawaii, there are 50 students and six teacher chaperones. There's really no reason why SMS is offering freakin' middle schoolers a trip to Hawaii. Honestly, if I were a parent, there's no way I would let my child go to Hawaii as a middle schooler. I have to wonder how this Super Special came about. It is ghost written by Peter Lerangis and I wonder if he went to Hawaii and volunteered to write this SS or if he got to go to Hawaii because of this SS (now that would be a sweet deal) or if he's never been to Hawaii and just did a lot of research? I think this is the first SS where we lead into it with a book from the regular series. In book #98, Dawn and Too Many Sitters (which I read last summer) we first learn about the trip to Hawaii being offered to SMS students. I went back to that book (well, e-book) to refresh my memory. Apparently SMS made a deal with a group called World Tours, Inc. where kids can get a discount on one of their tours as long as 50 of them sign up (and teacher chaperones don't count) and they have to be between 11-14. Gee, how convenient. Also, who lets a child as young as that go on a school trip so far away. Or am I just overreacting? The trip is only $500. I realize that at 13, that's a lot of money, but that sounds really cheap...even in 1996 money. The girls have to raise half, then their parents will pay the other half.

So everyone is going except for Kristy and Mallory. Kristy isn't going because her family is going to Hawaii later that summer and Mallory isn't going because everyone hates Mallory and why she should have any fun? I mean, that might as well be the answer. They say it's because of money and she already told Mrs. Stone she would help run a play group at her farm. GIRL, you have a chance to go to freakin' HAWAII. I'm sure this Mrs. Stone character can find someone else to help run some play group. Good freakin' gravy! However, the book does say Mal said she thought about finding someone to take her place and Mrs. Stone said that would be okay, but it's mostly a money issue that the Pikes can't afford a measly $250 to let their daughter enjoy a trip to Hawaii. I bet Mallory really resents her parents! Of course the real reason is that the ghost writers don't want to deal with a story for her in Hawaii. Poor Mallory; once again gets the shaft in a Super Special! (And wait until we get to her section!)

I should mention that I first read this book four years ago (along with SS 14 and 15) when I got them all online. By the time this book came out, I wasn't reading the BSC anymore, but decided to check out the ones I never read recently. 

Let's take a look at the cover:

The boys on each end are Logan and Robert and I believe Robert is the one on the right side with the red shirt and yellow and black Hawaiian shirt. You would think the blonde next to Robert would be Stacey, but there's something about the way her hair is styled she looks more like Dawn. But the other blonde in the pink doesn't look like Stacey OR Dawn, so I'm just really confused. For a dancer, Jessi sure looks stiff. Mary Anne also seems like she doesn't want to be dancing and her denim pants look tight. Abby's dress is hella clashy, but she sees to be having the most fun with her "wave your arms in the air like you just don't care" attitude. Claudia's floral crown is cute and is something she would do. Why the hell are they all (except for Robert) wearing sneakers and socks on the beach?? The background is nice. 

Okay, let's talk about each girl's adventures in Hawaii (or in Stoneybrook):

Jessi is a little on the obnoxious side in this. Her whole thing is since Mal can't go to Hawaii, she's going to bring Hawaii back to Mal! Her plan is to have everyone write in a diary about their trip that they will present to Mal, take a buttload of pics, and she even has a tape recorder (which she records the ocean at one point! And another time, she records the freaking wind). I'm sorry, but if I were Mal, I would be a little ticked off. (Mal ends up loving the whole thing, so good for her). If I couldn't go on this amazing trip to Hawaii that all my friends were going on, I wouldn't want to hear every minute detail of their trip or see their 13 rolls of films (Jessi, at one point, tells us she used that many!) and why the hell would I want to hear a recording of the ocean? What is the point of that?? Tell me about your trip, sure, show me the best pics you took, send me some postcards, buy me some cute seashell earrings, a Hawaiian shirt, some macadamia nuts, but I don't need a play-by-play of all ten days of your vacation! Jessi even writes this to Mal:

After you read this, see my photos, and hear my tape, you'll think you were here!

Yeah, no, she won't. 

 Everywhere Jessi goes, she's furiously busy scribbling in her journal because she doesn't want to miss a thing. It's like, GIRL, you are in HAWAII. She even writes a paragraph about the banana split dessert Claudia has. WHY?!?! Put down the damn notebook and pen and ENJOY yourself! Oh, remember how I told you she took 13 rolls of film? Well, each roll had 36 exposures that so means she took nearly 500 pictures!! Now, when I was in Maine recently, I took that many pics, but that was with my phone, so I could delete photos and post the ones I wanted to on social media and I wasn't....what do you call it when you take a roll of film to the store? Getting it developed, right? OMG, remember those cameras? I took one of those to France with me. They're so big and bulky. God, we are so spoiled with our digital cameras in our phones now! Of course, there were those disposable ones you could use...I remember using those, too. God, can you imagine being Mallory and having to look through 500 freakin' photos your friend took on her vacation? Shoot me now. 

Jessi mentions they go to Chinatown for lunch "where I had something called Szechuan chicken." It surprises me she's never heard of that. God, that sounds so good right now. I think I'm just hungry. 

If this had been my first introduction to Abby, I may have found her super obnoxious. Before I first read this book, I did get a haul of BSC books and there was an Abby book in there, so this was not my first introduction to Abby. I honestly don't remember my first impression of Abby, but I like her for the most part. Her "allergy talk" is super annoying, but I realize that's not her fault. I do find Abby a little grating in this. She's about to start her ten day trip to Hawaii and she wakes up super early the day they're suppose to leave and we find out GIRLFRIEND HASN'T EVEN PACKED YET! WTF? How are you not even packed for a ten day trip to Hawaii on the morning you're supposed to leave? When I went to Maine for eight days, I made a freakin' spreadsheet of everything I would need and checked them off as I packed them! (The day before I left, not the day of!) Such a Dawn thing to do! 

She just pretty much dumps all her clothes and toiletries in a suitcase...this is absolutely ridiculous. Honestly, this chapter made me so infuriated with Abby. Packing is an art...you should not just dump all your clothes into your suitcase. 

In case you're wondering, Anna does not go on the trip. I'm sure it's explained why she doesn't go in Dawn and Too Many Sitters, but I think she made the right decision. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Hawaii is a wonderful place to visit and I can see why it attracts so many tourists, but good God, when they describe how long it takes to get there...well, honestly, it doesn't even seem worth it! All the students meet at the SMS parking lot early in the morning and take a two hour bus ride to the airport in New York. Then it takes five hours to fly to L.A. where they have about an hour layover. Then it takes ANOTHER five hours to fly to Hawaii! This shocked me cuz I figured it only took a couple hours, maybe three at the most to fly to Hawaii from LAX. I don't know why I thought that; I guess I thought Hawaii was closer to the mainland than it actually is. Apparently it takes five hours to fly there! 

One of the most shocking, insane scenes happens pretty early on when they're at JFK, eating breakfast, waiting for their flight. Their flight is called and they still haven't been through security! Uh....WTF? I realize this book was published before 9/11, but still....were people this lax about airline travel that they didn't even go through security until AFTER their flight is called? That just seems insane to me! And this is 50 kids and six teachers who have to go through security with God knows who else is going through at the time since they're at a crowded international airport in one of the biggest cities! Good Lord! This make me so anxious, you have no idea. 

Abby's main storyline is being in a commercial for suntan lotion. She and a group of nine other students (including Stacey) and a teacher are at Waikiki Beach. And honestly, from this description, it doesn't sound very appealing to me:

Finding a spot for ten kids and a grownup on Waikiki Beach is a little like finding a seat on the NYC subway at rush hour.

Ugh, no thank you.

So they're at the beach and a volleyball lands at her feet. She tosses it back and notices a camera crew is set up around the volleyball net. She quickly realizes they're filming something and her ears perk up when she hears the director say they have a delay because one of the actors can't do the job and that they won't be able to shoot that day. Abby blurts out that she can play and when the woman asks how old she is, she replies 18. Now, the way Abby is drawn in one of the illustrations, she actually does look 18, but let's be honest...NO 13-year-old looks like she's 18. Uh-uh, not happening. Instead of asking for ID, they just believe her and let her into the commercial. Uh...okay. Don't think it works that way! One of the teacher even supports this and tells Abby if anyone asks, she'll say she's her agent. 

Abby starts to get a really big head and thinks this is her first step into stardom. She thinks Steven Spielberg is going to be watching the commercial and will "discover" her and make her into a big star. I don't know what's more unbelievable: that scenario or that she thinks Kristy will be her agent. Yes, Abby, because a 13-year-old girl can be your agent! That makes perfect sense!

So Abby does the commercial and ends up getting a wicked, nasty sunburn. Why, you ask? Because she's a moron. Seriously. She is about to put suntan lotion on, but realize it's Coppertone and she told the director that she uses the product called Day-Nite Suntan Lotion which they're shooting the commercial for. Because of this, she doesn't want to be seen using the competition and doesn't put any on AT ALL! She's not worried about it because it's 7:30 and the sun won't get bad until 10. Well, the sun is still the sun and in those three hours she gets burned. She does slather herself with Day-Nite sunscreen during their break (which she says smells awful), but the sun has already done it's damage. I just can't imagine going to a beach in Hawaii and not slathering yourself with sunscreen. That just seems really stupid not to do that. 

Mary Anne doesn't spend any time with Logan (at least not until the very last day) because her friend have been complaining she's been spending too much time with him. Well, he's her boyfriend, you nitwits! Heh, I wonder if Richard paid her friends to say that to her because he was worried that some hanky panky might happen if they weren't separated. (Not that I think Mary Anne would ever go further than kissing). 

I was pleasantly surprised that their hotel in Honolulu is described as "a squat, rectangular, four-story, glass-and-steel building in the middle of town." That actually seems realistic for a large group of teens. I would have thought they would have been in a hotel right on the ocean with their own private beach, so I appreciate that this was realistic. 

 Later, they will go to another part of Oahu and from their hotel they are able to see where Gilligan's Island was filmed. Heh, if this book was written today, it would probably be Lost. Dawn tells them she once saw Bob Denver (except she refers to him as Gilligan) at a dinner theater show in L.A. She tells them, "He's not young, anymore." Well, no shit, Dawn, it's called aging. But to be fair, since she and her friends and family never age, she probably has no concept of it. Poor thing. 

While there, a family with two young girls checks into the hotel which Mary Anne describes as "huge" and they are missing their five year old son who they are frantically searching for. Instead of going on whatever group activity the students have planned that day, she asks if she can stay behind and help with the search. This kid is missing for an hour and a half and the police are called and all the hotel staff is searching while Mary Anne volunteers to watch the two girls. Needless to say, the parents are a frantic mess. This has to be every parents' worse nightmare. All the familiar places are checked: the pools, the game room, the park across the street, their room.

Of course it is Mary Anne who saves the day and finds the young boy. When his sisters tell her their room number (243), she just figures the boy got the numbers mixed up and checks all variations of the room number. Of course all the rooms are locked, but when she knocks on one, she hears Joseph answer her and he opens the door with help from Mary Anne. Apparently, he had forgotten his shell and went back to their room without telling anyone, but he went to the wrong room. Don't ask my how he could get into a room that wasn't even his (and I doubt he even had a key to get into his room and even if he did, the key wouldn't work on a different room, so WTF?) He said he realized he was in the wrong room, but wasn't able to open the door (too heavy or something), so he cried, then fell asleep on the bed. And that's when Mary Anne found him. Still unsure of how this kid could get into a room that wasn't his and even more surprised that the hotel staff/police didn't think to check ALL the rooms (you know, just to make sure nothing nefarious is going on, not that I would ever think this since this is a BSC book, after all!) 

So all is well and Mary Anne is the hero. This prompts Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds, who are the managers of the hotel, to ask Mary Anne if she would like to baby-sit their three kids tomorrow since their grandfather, who usually watches them, is out of town. Mary Anne is thrilled about the prospect of "spending a day with a typical Hawaiian family" and "learning about another culture firsthand" so she agrees. Oh, and how did Mrs. Reynolds know Mary Anne was a baby-sitter? It wasn't because she volunteered to watch the young girls when people were searching for their brother, it was because, and I am not kidding you, she was wearing a white t-shirt that said The Baby-Sitters Club and underneath that, it said Call KL5-3231. Kristy had them made for all of them and while she doesn't specifically tell the they have to wear them in Hawaii, for some reason some of them do (like Mary Anne here). Um, why? Why would you were a t-shirt in Hawaii advertising your business in Connecticut? So stupid. 

So Mary Anne gets permission to baby-sit for the Reynolds because we can't have a Super Special without baby-sitting, even though we get baby-sitting chapters with Mal and Kristy who are back in Stoneybrook. I feel like it's Mary Anne who always get stuck with baby-sitting when they're on vacation (maybe "stuck" isn't the right word since she wants to do it). She baby-sat those two British kids with Stacey in New York, Stephie in California, and now these kids. 

I wanted to smack Mary Anne in her baby-sitting chapter. She mentions how "familiar" everything looks. The kids appear like normal American kids and the house looks like a normal house. She tells us:

I don't know what I was expecting. Ukulele music floating through a thatched hut? Kids wearing grass skirts and leis? A luau for breakfast? Okay, maybe not. But something a little different.

 At least she admits she probably wasn't going to see all of that, but good Lord! She is also wondering why the Reynolds have a very un-Hawaiian name. Well, it's because Mr. Reynold's father (the kids' grandfather who usually watches them) is white and married a Hawaiian woman after the war. He lives with them, but is out of town, so that's why they need a baby-sitter. 

Claudia has a sad storyline and a bit of a heavy one. She has signed up to take a group tour of Pearl Harbor. It's only her, Mary Anne, and four other students with one of the teachers. I was kinda surprised this wasn't a mandatory thing since it is an important part of our history. I guess the other students had better things to do like go to the beach! I'm also kind of surprised Claudia's parents didn't sit her down and talk to her about it because they had to know there was a good chance she would be going to Pearl Harbor if she was going to Hawaii (especially the same island!) Claudia is well aware of the significance of Pearl Harbor (I was super shocked when she told us she read a book about it, but maybe it was required reading for school? From the way she said it, I didn't think so. That seemed out of character for Claud to read a book about a heavy topic that wasn't school related)! After visiting the site and watching footage of the bombing, she begins to feel sick to her stomach and feels tremendous guilt. She also begins to wonder if people will know she's of Japanese descent and begins to wish she she had blonde hair and blue eyes which is really sad (and kinda icky that she had to feel that way). I just felt so bad for her. 

She knows her grandparents were living in Japan when this happened and wonders how they reacted to it and if they in favor of it since the Emperor had ordered the attack and how Mimi used to tell her the Emperor was revered by everyone in Japan. She is horrified by the thought that Mimi could approve of this. We will learn later (after Claudia has talked to her parents about this when she gets back) that her mom tells her that Mimi never talked about WWII and refused to talk about it. Feels like a cop out, if you ask me. Oh, well, they probably didn't want to open a can of worms with that. 

Mary Anne is asked to baby sit the Reynolds kids agin, but she doesn't really want to because she wants to enjoy her vacation (I am SHOCKED!), but she gets the idea to get Claudia, who has confided in Mary Anne about what she's been going through, to baby sit for them. She does and gets really nervous when the grandfather comes home (she finds out he was in the war) and checks to make sure there aren't any weapons in the house so he doesn't shoot her. That just got really dark. Of course, the man is really nice to her and they have a nice little chat and Claudia says she feels better, but does she really? He basically tells her she can't be held responsible for her ancestor's actions and that she "can't take on the burden of an entire country". She's reminded of the Japanese-American detention camps and thinks of the burden that was put on them. Then he adds that "the atom bombs made Pearl Harbor look small by comparison." Honestly, I'm surprised Claud didn't leave that house feeling more miserable and confused than ever!

To lighten this up a little bit, there's one point where Claudia spells "wrong" as "rong" and it just looks so....rong. Heh, sorry. She also can't seem to pronounce "Oahu", which I get if you aren't familiar with it, but she pronounces it as "Ohio" at one point and how do you even get that from "Oahu"? 

Can Stacey ever have a Super Special adventure where she doesn't almost die? Seriously, in California Girls, she gets in a car crash; in Snowbound, she and her mom get stranded in the blizzard and nobody has any idea where she is; and in this book, its sort of a hybrid of those two: she gets in a helicopter crash and nobody knows where she (or the three other students and the pilot) is. But she's fine (and so are the others) and everyone is found.

Stacey's been snapping at Robert this whole trip because he was flirting with the flight attendant. He's also been flirting with pretty and popular Sue Archer. (Who has the name "Sue" in the '90s? Nobody. It's a very '50s name). I think this book is right before when she and Robert break up. 

I find it absolutely ridiculous that Dawn is on this trip. First of all, she doesn't even attend SMS anymore! I thought this trip was for SMS students? Yes, it's true she had to be put on the waiting list and could only go if the roster wasn't filled up. I get why she wants to go with her friends, but wouldn't it make more sense to go with her family in California? I'm sure her dad would take her. The plane ride sure would be a helluva lot shorter too (Only five hours instead of 12!) 

When the plane makes it's layover at LAX (where they're only there for an hour), Dawn is greeted by her dad, Jeff, and Carol. Now, I could understand them doing this if she still lived in Stoneybrook, but why the hell are they driving all the way out to LAX (no way they live near the airport!) for an hour to see someone who now lives permanently with them? Abby, who narrates that chapter, comments that Dawn was so surprised to see them. Yeah, I bet she was. She probably thought why the hell are they driving all this way to see her for just a few minutes when she now LIVES with them, permanently.

Dawn doesn't really have a storyline. Well, she cleans up a trashed beach with the help of Jessi and some local kids. It's a very Dawn thing. But again, there is no need for Dawn to be in this book. Sorry, Dawn. Sorry Dawn fans.

So that's all the adventures in Hawaii. Back in Stoneybrook, Kristy and Mallory still have BSC meetings at Claud's room. I think that's a little weird. Why can't they just leave a voice mail on Claud's voicemail and tell their clients to call the Brewers' or the Pikes' residence? Mr. and Mrs. Kishi must be saints to put up with that. Kristy doesn't really have anything to do in this book. She baby-sits for Karen and Karen's friend Tia, who is from Nebraska and is obsessed with NYC. As a Nebraskan, I was a little insulted by the fact that the girl from Nebraska is from a farm...of course she is. I also love that she comes from a farm to go to...Farm Camp. That must have been so exciting for her. (Can you feel the sarcasm dripping from my voice?)

One of the reasons Mallory can't go to Hawaii is because she has to help Mrs. Stone with Farm Camp, but yet we never see her doing that. Well, maybe we see a bit of it. Her main storyline involves her and a thirty-something woman. It starts when Mal is baby-sitting Jenny and Andrea Prezzioso and Mrs. P. tells Mal that if Jenny throws one of her tantrums, she's just supposed to ignore her until it passes. 

So of course Jenny throws a tantrum (before and after her mother leaves!) and Mal follows Mrs. P's advice. However, the trouble starts when Jenny asks to go to the park to play. Oh, boy, not very smart of Mal. I would not be taking this girl to a public place! While Jenny is playing and Mal is keeping an eye on her and sitting with Andrea, an ice cream truck pulls up nearby and Jenny demand to have a Fudgsicle. (Have to say, never been a fan of the the Fudgsicle. Give me an ice cream bar or sandwich.) Mal tells her no and all hell breaks loose. Jenny is screaming and throwing sand and tells Mal that she's stupid and she hates her. (Poor Mallory!) Of course there are other kids there with their mothers and that has to be a super awkward position to be in for both Mal and the other adults. This one particular woman, who was nearby when this happened tells Mal, "She seems to be in great pain." What? How is a kid screaming and demanding ice cream in great pain? I don't get that at all. The child is in no pain or physical harm at all. Mal tries to explain what she's doing what Jenny's mother asked her to do and the woman replies with, "I'm sure her mom doesn't mean for her child to be neglected, dear." Again, what is she talking about? Jenny is clearly not being neglected. Ignored? Sure, but not neglected. If I were Mal, I would tell this woman to mind her own fucking business. Mal really does get the shitshows of the worst plot lines, doesn't she? 

Mal happens to be wearing her BSC t-shirt with the phone number printed on it and at the next meeting she tells Kristy about what happened and like clockwork, the phone rings after she's done telling the story and when Kristy answers it, it's the woman on the other end of the line. (Who didn't see that coming?) Her name is Margaret Wellfleet and she's calling to report Mallory. She tells Kristy, "I suggest that if you intend to advertise your organization on shirts, you better be sure that those shirts are worn by competent child care personnel." That's a sick burn if I ever heard one.Yep, once again, Mal is getting dumped on here. Unfairly, I might add. Luckily, Kristy is on Mal's side here and know she hasn't done anything wrong. (Good thing Mal told her about this before Kristy answered the phone!) 

Mal has been trying to run into Mrs. Wellfleet at the park because she had "some unfinished business". Girl, just let it go. I don't know what she was hoping to do or say to her. The first few days she doesn't see her at the park, but then one day she takes Margo and Claire there and actually sees Mrs. Wellfleet. It turns out she has a young son who is just as big a brat as Jenny and throws huge tantrums. (Guess he wasn't there the first time Mal meets her? Or he was just behaving that day?) Mal even comments that the kid's tantrum "made Jenny's look mild." Mrs. Wellfleet isn't ignoring her son, she's telling him to stop and is getting all flustered. Mal catches the woman's eye and comments that Mrs. Wellfleet looks guilty. Even though Mal comments she does feel bad for her, she can't help but feel a little gloaty, and hey, I don't blame her. This woman was a total bitch to her.

It sounds like Mal gets a job with them, but we never hear about it and we never hear about the Wellfleets again (not that I can remember), so they must not become regular clients.